Chapter Ten

Next day was an easy one. The only thing I had to do was to take my medicine, and think about the Spiritual rule of the Ten Numbers. That day I had to digest what God had told me the night before, because with those numbers we were supposed to keep in touch.
I remember that day very well because the only thing I had to do was to wake and bake. Woo-hoo! I woke up early in the morning and I took a puff of my Jamaican medicine-that very potent strain that was given to me by my Jamaican co-worker, that by the way, I wish I could remember his name. I took one puff and after a few seconds I looked at the sky and I heard that voice again, that voice that for me at the time was God's voice. Every time I heard that voice, was like finding a son that you have lost for decades, and suddenly he appears out of nowhere like nothing has ever happened, and there he is, all of the sudden, right in front of you, and you just can't have enough of that unbelievable good feeling, a feeling so good that fills every single square inch of your heart.
I looked at the sky and God said, "Before the time it's over, you will have to make a choice. There is a path that those who say to love me must walk on this Earth regardless, and sometimes some of those who have followed the path, because of their love to me, some of them have became my voice on Earth. Some of them are called by me to serve a mission, and you have the potential to become one of them, but before you can even mention my name, you must walk the path first.
Now you know that I am closer to you than you ever imagined before, and there is a time when you have to start walking on your own, and that time has come for you. Let's see now if you can prove yourself worthy of being here on Earth. Not too long ago you were born in South America in body and then in Spirit. Your body was born on February 26, 1967 and your Spirit was born the time when you got your first memory. Your first memory is the day when you were born in spirit, and remember, "Spirit over matter." That is an undeniable truth and for many is really hard to understand the difference between your body and your spirit, and I know you can make a very good job at explaining that simple fact.
That moment when you get your first memory is the day your spirit came to life, before that, was just me waiting for that moment to happen. From that moment on I became your opposition, and I stood by your side until this moment, this moment when your spirit has reached maturity and with my blessing your spirit is now multiplying. Right now your Spirit is being torn apart and is dividing itself into two; your spirit is giving birth to your son, your spiritual son. You can say that your spiritual son was born here in America. Now you have to accept that because of free agency, you must let your son lead the way. Let him lead the way and be by his side as I have been by your side. Be his opposition as I have been yours and know this: At one point or another I have talked to everyone, but I do it just once. Be your son opposition and if ever in your eyes, you see your son about to make a big mistake, as his spiritual father, is your duty to say "NO" as I have said to you once before. You remember very well when I said "NO" to you. That time you were about to make a big mistake, and you could tell the difference between my voice and your voice. The same will happen to your son, he will recognize your voice. That is your duty as a father, and as your Son's opposition. Your duty is to save him from making a big mistake, and your duty is to say "No" but just once, because "One is no one. Right?" After you have giving him a fair warning, you have to follow the rules of free agency, and that is all you can do about it. Is his free agency to take your advice or not. More likely he will, but not always, and then if he fails, I will rescue your spirit, and you will have another chance to eternity. Just remember the way I have been your father until now, and from now on, you and I, we are equals. One day when your spiritual son have about the same experience as you have leading the way, you can say that you are a man all around, and you both, I wish you both become one, because when a man becomes one is there where eternity is born. Even if everything around you will be the same, the clarity and harmony inside of you will become something amazing. That state of spirituality some call it, "Being awake, to wake up," some call it "Nirvana," some call it, "Finding your Destiny." I have been your opposition pretty much your whole life, and now I'm about to leave you. My son as you know now I'll be at your left, my son to the right, your son leading the way, and you protecting his back. From this moment on you can start practicing walking on your own, and you know what they say, "Practice makes perfect." I cannot be by your side holding you like a baby for all Eternity. We all need one opposition so we have the illusion of making a decision, and that is what we call being smart. Intelligence is the best tool you can have to survive, and know this, "To use your intelligence for evil is the biggest sin of all." What is Evil you might ask? My son is not easy to explain what evil is and what is not, in a Universe where there is no right and no wrong. Like there is no such a thing as up and down, but do not get lost in the way words do sound, pay attention on the results of your actions, and always consider that if you are here, is because I put you here, and you are here because of the continuous sacrifices of many that have come to this world before you. Those who have come before you with my help, we have define what evil is here on Earth. Together we have drawn the line in the sand, and we call that line the Rule of Law. Remember Democracy is born when a group of humans come together to form a nation, when a group of humans became a team, and they worked together to achieve a better existence and a better future for their posterity. A nation in democracy is the most profitable system of all, and the one that takes care of physical and spiritual needs of a human. Bibles of today were yesterday's attempts to form a nation.
You owe what you are and what you have to those who have became before you, and any human you see on Earth, at a point going back in time, they have been the Hero that saved the day, and the one that saved humanity from extinction. Any human that you can see today at a point in time has been The Hero.
There is evolution happening all the time. You don't look the same as when you were a baby, because you have evolved, you have grown up, and remember as well that any life could be your last life, that's life, "By their fruits you will recognized them. Do unto others as you would've done to yourself."
That's why you need to walk the path that has been laid down for you. The path is the road that you must walk to earn your freedom. You have walked that same path many times before, and to follow it or not is inside of your free agency. After this moment I will step aside, and I will not interfere in your decisions anymore and you soon will wonder if this ever happened. After this moment till the end of your life faith will be the only link between you and I, because of the rules of free agency, I can only interfere only once, because "One is no one." The Path is to walk through life being my hands on Earth following these four basic rules: Do not kill, do not steal, do not lie, and work with your hands. Until you became a mature spirit in my eyes, you are not born yet, "Spirit over matter." As a man you should be free to walk where ever you want to go, because in my eyes you will have earned your freedom in this life, and the reward for walking the path rightfully so is to have another life.
Know and remember that my name is The One Without a Name, and the closest meaning to my name is "Life." When you follow me you are following life itself, and eternity is possible in spirit, and is possible in the physical world as well, "Spirit over Matter."
God asked me, "Look at the sky and tell me what you see." I answered, "I see the Sun coming up behind the clouds and there are four columns of light coming through clouds. One of them is smaller than the others." Then God said, "The smallest one represents your son, and one day you will become a man in complete spiritual balance again, and I say again, because you have been here before, you have followed the path once before, actually many times before, and no matter what, you keep finding me over and over again. I heard you saying once before that you don't care where you went after you die, as long as you are in my house. Even if it was as a little bird on the corner of the roof of my house, because as long as you were close to me, that was all you care about." Now you know that you are in my house son.
The House of Life is a sacred place, and in my house there is no lies, there is no slavery, there is no killing, no raping, and no child labor just to mention a few, in my house nobody is above another. In a true nation nobody is above the law, nobody is above the Rule of Law. The law is nothing but where we have drawn the line, and most important of all, no one gets through life without working with its own hands. The path of life is not hard to follow, and is present everywhere you go."
God continued, "When you become fifteen-years old you should be on your own, just like your dad Luis once said to you, and you should be working hard helping to build your nation. Do not judge others, and do whatever is needed in order to keep your nation strong. That is the path.
Religion these days is pointless, because there is already a Nation in place, and the purpose of religion once was to build a Nation. Long time ago when the idea of religion was born, they were raw sketches of what a nation should be, and religions were constitutions to draw the line between what was good and what was wrong, what was legal and what was illegal. Those ideas were the answer to their problems back then, way back then. Today religion should be nothing but the way you want to say thanks to life or to whoever you want too. To worship, or not to is inside of your free agency rights, you can choose my son or the Father, the priest or the warrior, it doesn't matter, you are free to worship or not, don't forget that you are in my house.
Don't worry son, I know is a lot to take in such short period of time, but when the moment comes you will understand. That's why I said to you in your dream, "I will give you no answer, I will give you understanding." The only thing you need to know for now is that you are in my house, as well as everyone else. They are here because I put them here, and as you grow up and walk the path, everything will fall into place. Hopefully you will be my voice on Earth, if I need you to be my voice on Earth. Now would you take me for a ride? Come on, let's go! Don't be so serious, let's go."
That day I did nothing but driving around, and we went here and there making short stops in different places. I remember talking to people like if I knew them for the longest time, and I talked with complete strangers especially at breakfast or lunch time, and most of these people were older and mature people. I remember one of those conversations very well, because it was a very special one. I was having lunch seated at the bar, and I started talking with a lady. Out of the blues we started talking about God and religion. The lady came to me and sat by my side, and she started talking to me. She said that I caught her attention because she saw me holding a moment of silence, and she felt that I was praying or saying grace before I started eating my meal. She was intrigued to the point that she had to ask me and she added, "That is what you were doing right? You said grace right?" I said to her, "How do you know that? She said, "Hard to explain but I felt it." I said, "Well you are almost right. I blessed this restaurant and everything in it before I came in, so my food was already blessed. When I came inside and sat here, like you can see started raining, and while seated here I closed my eyes and I blessed the rain. That way every place and everyone who got touched by the rain got a blessing as well." She said, "Never heard that before. Are you a priest?" I said nope but I have been invested with the power to bless." She asked, "By whom?" I couldn't lie, so I said to her, "I have been invested with the power to bless by the living God itself." She smiled and we started talking for a while about God and religion. After awhile we get to the point where I explained to her that God and religion are two completely different things. God is what God is, and religion is the way you get together with others to express love and give thanks to God or whatever is your thing. I explained to her that the closest thing to explain God was to think of the word "Life" and that God happened long, long ago, but Life, life happened even before God. That's why God has always said, "I am who I am." At the end she agreed, and out of nowhere I said, "I have to leave now. Nice to meet you again, see you around." She said, "Have we met before?" I answered, "Yes, but not in this life. I met you a few lives ago. I love you too. Take care and keep being a good girl." She stood in one piece not knowing what to do or what to say, but I still remember her eyes looking at mine, like I was a beloved son of her or something like that.
I left the restaurant and kept driving around in a beautiful rainy day. Driving around that day I ended up in Fort Lauderdale, more specifically at the Port Everglades, and there was a large warship carrier on a big concrete pier. I stopped and looked at it for more than a few, and that day I had a great time for sure.
At home after my shower and after sunset time I heard the voice again this time saying, "Now you know that after you are born in flesh, you're not still born in spirit for me. You don't exist to me until you as a male or female became born in spirit, "Spirit over matter." You as a male, you are born in front of me, after you are forty-years old. Don't forget the words, "Spirit over matter." For me your body does not mean much, other than your body is the very temple of your Spirit. Your body is the vessel that holds your spirit at a given moment on time. By the way, today is almost exactly ten years since I told you to read the Bible. Do you remember that whisper in the wind? That was me, and now you know that I was right there with you. I know you had the courage to end your misery, but I didn't let you because no child should commit suicide in the first place, and second you were targeted by assholes that don't know better. That was unfair and you did not gave in. You in my eyes were brave like none of them will ever be, and I broke a mayor rule rescuing you one more time from certain death. When I told you to read the Bible, I told you that your forbidden fruit was going to be the Apocalypse, and you have done well. I am glad you didn't get lost trying to unravel that pile of rubbish, where many have wasted their whole life. So you know that is the very initial intention of the Apocalypse when it was written. Do you remember when it was the first time I said to you the word "no" to you?" I said, "That must be the time when I saw my father Luis doing something very naughty." God said, "Yes that was the time, and you being so young, you did like just like monkeys do. Monkey see monkey do without having any explanation for it. You need to know that sometimes I do break the rules, and that there is always an exception to the rule. Nothing is perfect not even me, not life, not the Universe, but sometimes I do speak to some, and as we agreed long ago, I will always warn you when you are about to fall out of heaven or kicked out of Eden, like it used to be said in the all times. Referring to the physical and spiritual point where you have gone too far, so far that there is no other way but to keep moving forward. They were referring to the point of no return. The rule is, "I will warn you, when you are about to cross that boundary, that point of no return, but only once." You did ask long ago "How we will know that it is you God giving us the warning?" Many have asked me before, "How we will know when you gave us that last and only warning? And I answered long ago, "You will know when you know." In your case when I gave you that warning, you didn't know what it was, but you stopped in a dime didn't you? Remember? Remember I do speak but only once. That was the deal, because at the end you are the one who need to learn to walk on your own, not me. Don't forget to practice walking with your Spirit." I asked, "My Lord you keep telling me as we agreed long ago, what you mean with that?" God said, "From a rock to become what you are now, do you think that did happen just in one life time? Long ago I promised that the reward to those who followed me was going to be eternity, and following me is you taking the right decision to follow Life, as I do follow Life. Know that you are living Eternity. Every time you passed away you go back to me, and as consciousness gives you the gift of being, that gift has been given to me as well. I do give you the gift to be who you are one more time, one time only because, "One is no one."
God said, "The greatest times of any of your lives are recorded in your Spirit. That's why you have sometimes dreams or nightmares that feel way too real to be a dream. Some of those dreams are nothing but memories of your past lives. Only me can unlock those memories in your state of existence, and Eternity is a reward given by me, and you and I have many memories together. I remember the time I first saw you. That time you were a little fish that should've have been dead for sure, and awhile before I found you, but your raw will to survive was strong and it had all the potential to be something bigger and better, so I did take you in my hands, blessed you, and put you back in the water. You learned a lesson that day, and that was not to be so curious. You learn that being to curious can kill you. There is a line always that you should not cross ever. I remember you being in awe looking at this other world, this world that was beyond, above, and out of the water. This world was in the heavens above. That image in your mind is you looking at me and my son for the first time. That was the time we found each other in this place called Universe long, long ago. Son do start thinking Eternity, because one day when the time is right, after you put my words in writing, the end of your book will say, "I don't believe in Eternity. I am living Eternity." That is how your book will end, and you will know exactly why you will be saying those words. At that time everything should be in place for you to deliver my message, unless you failed to follow The Path."
After that God said to me, "Now I will live you with two of my favorite Spirits. They can instruct you in how and when to deliver my message. That is in the case you are given the okay to deliver the message, and because timing is everything those Spirits are part of the message, and they are General MacArthur and General Patton. Remember that you and I come a long ways together, and I can trust you. You have time and time again followed my path regardless of the situation in front of you. That's why you are in my inner circle called the Circle of Fathers, and you are the one who should deliver the massage, because the Earth and the Moon are part of your Kingdom, remember that? The Circle of Fathers are those Spirits that work with me keeping Life alive, and they are capable of doing any sacrifice necessary, even given their lives to protect the life of others. They are founders of Nations, and they are founders of Heaven here on Earth or any other place I might send them to. Listen to them, learn from them, and remember this main spiritual rule and part of the message that you hopefully deliver to the American people: The right thing, at the right place, for the right reason, at the right time. Four, four will be the message. With a number four is how it does start the Thousand Years of Peace, and hopefully the most beautiful era of Human Kind. Listen to them and see you around, and the other part of the message is classified until the end of the book and that it is: "J.. … … …" four. When you put in writing the main part of the message your writings needs to say, and have to say: Released on July 04 of whatever that time is plus a thousand years."
That's how the most radical part of this odyssey started, because after that was like God had left, and God had put these two Generals in charge of the rest. Right after that God said that to me I heard two guys arguing, "You go first, no you deal first. I'll give you a head start this time. Pool it is!" Then they said to me, "Hey dimwit, take us to a place with a pool table. I have something to show you." Once we got there they said, "Lesson number one: Don't forget that there are four. Four from me, and four from him, that's eight, plus The General of Generals approval and his son, that is two more, and as you already know that number ten is when you have reached a higher level on existence, and that can only happen with the blessing of the Father and the sun. Where two whom became one, makes it ten, and ten means, that with The Generals of the Generals approval, you have reached a higher spiritual Plato. The pool table is where we can give you an example of it." It was late at night when that happened, but anyways I went to a pool place that was open 24/7. I went to the exit 106 of the Palmetto Highway in Miami, and in my mind I was taking General MacArthur and General Patton with me to a pool place. When we got there and we started playing for everybody else I was by myself, but in my mind I was listening very carefully to what they were saying, about strategies and the way to deliver the message. The only thing I do remember saying out loud sometimes, was a word that at the time I was practicing it's pronunciation and it got stock in my mind during that time, that word was: unbelievable, and unbelievable it was. I was playing a game of pool that I'm sure nobody could understand. The game I was playing made no sense pool wise, but strategy wise it was unbelievable! They said to me that I needed to know the rules of engagement from Heavens above, what Heaven was, and how lucky everybody that was here on Earth really were, because they were in one of God Life's Temples, and in a temple, "Do shall not kill." Of course there is always the exception to every rule like Self-defense. Then the more subtle break on the rule, when one human kills another human, and you wonder what to do? What happens to Cain when he killed Abel? The answer was given to us by God long ago, and that is the rule, "Eye for an eye." That rule must be applied with the difference that body wise Cain killed Abel, but spiritually in all reality Cain just committed suicide. I can tell you that Abel is still here with us. Spirits can be rescued by God, and God is the only one that can do that...."
It is hard enough to lose one life here on Earth, and it is even harder to lose two of them in this material world, but for the protection of others, those who break the rule "Do shall not kill" must be measured with the same ruler that they had measured. Death was their own verdict not ours. You need to understand that you are in a sacred place, a place ruled by no human, a place ruled by the Rule of Law. When you are inside a nation above all, you are ruled by no one but by The Constitution of the United States of America. That's why any who does otherwise is betraying the Constitution, and the punishment for treason is death. When it comes to treason because of the rules of engagement, is on the Armed forces discretion to intervene or not intervene, but any traitor to the constitution must be prosecuted in a Martial Court, and not in a Civilian Court, because is the duty of the Military to protect its people against any outside threat or any domestic threat. A nation like this one is based in true values of freedom, so if you decide to be an atheist you are in your divine right to do so, and because out of respect to Freedom, there is the separation of Religion and State. In this sacred place ruled by the Rule of Law you do not kill, you do not steal, you do not lie, and everybody pays their dues to the Nation. The exception to that rule is the one person that represents the constitution of that nation. There must be one person whose duty is to make sure that nobody is above the Law of the Land. There must be a defender of the Constitution, and that is exactly what we are missing right now in America. As far as we can see, the Constitution of the United States right now, is nothing but a dead piece of paper with a nice story in it. As far as we can see, in a few words, America is under the rule of organized crime. (Remember: Things the way they are right now in a few words you can say that at the end Al Capone won.)
The person that we are talking about must be a person who has the duty to ensure that the Constitution of the United States of America is alive. This person must be pro-active and among its powers, should have the authority to take to the Supreme Court up to four cases in a year. This person in any case of his or her choosing, he or she, could vote as part of the Supreme Court, and especially in a case where there is a vacant seat in the Supreme Court. He or She should be able to address the whole country all at once up to four times per year, and they could audit any Government agency, or any State Government or office up to four of them a year per State. She or he should have the power to call for a vote in any issue of her choosing up to four votes per year. This person should be able to call any issue for a vote at any time in the House of Representatives or the Senate. This person must have these powers at least, and if we want to have a Nation that can last at least for the next millennium, we must have somebody making sure that the Constitution of the United States of America does not ended up being nothing but a piece of paper.
The constitution is the soul of our Nation, and where "We the People" have drawn the line as a Democratic Nation, about what our Nation should be today and tomorrow. In a Universe where there is no right or wrong, "We the People" have decided to put in writing where we draw the line between what is right and what is wrong, as well as our duties and our rights. A Democratic nation is a place where you can be whatever you want to be, because you are free, and regardless of your religion, and regardless of your color, as long as you are a good pair of hands for your Nation, the rest should be nothing but History.
Four: In order to have a Nation that endures the next thousand years as a Nation, there must be four parts to it.
One: The executive. The Head of a Nation. The President, that person must be somebody that represent everybody or at least the majority of those who form that Nation.
Two: The Legislative and the Judicial. These are the ones who draw the line, the embodiment of the Rule of Law and the Law in the Land. Their responsibility is to ensure Justice for all. Remember the Pledge of Allegiance: "I pledge allegiance to my flag and the Republic, for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."
Three: The Armed forces. They provide the security and defend our Nation from any outside or domestic threats. They must make sure that nothing governs the Nation but The Rule of Law. The People for the People is the most important part of our Nation.
Four: Four is the missing part right now. Four is who will make sure that the Constitution of the United States of America is not just a Piece of Paper. Here we proposed one solution and that is A King or a Queen that have well defined powers, duties and responsibilities, and who ever ended up being the one, that person must ensure that the Constitution is not just a piece of paper, and must be somebody that only bows down to the Constitution of the United States of America. That person must have total immunity, unless that person does commit a felony. Today we can find an example of what we are talking about in The Queen of England. The Queen of England even if she is not the head of the nation as a president is, still she does have influence from the side lines to ensure that England keeps being a great nation.
Do not think that you have to know the constitution on its entirety, trying to know all the details will make you very confused, just remember the Spirit of the Constitution of the United States of America. The purpose and the spirit of the constitution you will find it in the document that gives the order to create the Constitution, and that document says:
We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the Unites States of America.
The guy at the counter of that pool place must've been having fun seeing me playing this weird game of pool, and hearing me saying out laud once in a while "Unbelievable!" but in my mind I was listening and watching a lesson about true Democracy expressed in a pool table, a hard to imagine analogy, but there I was listening and playing a pool game with General Patton, and General MacArthur, unbelievable!
I have to admit that during all that time there was always a part of me that was saying, "Oh oh?! Now you are completely nuts. The biggest fear of your life came through. I guess with these experiences, and the forty days stuff, that fear really came to pass." On the other hand I was calmed and thinking, "So far nothing bad has happened to me, and I haven't done anything wrong. For whatever it is, I won't "Live the door un-answered before I know who is knocking at my door." And "By the fruits of this interaction, I will know what this experience really was all about. So far so good." In my heart I had the most wonderful feelings, and in my mind except for the shadows of uncertainty, I was receiving all this answers through understanding of all those things that were like puzzles stuck in my mind, and for sure I was blown away to hear all that.
Just to understand that the Bible was a pure spiritual book, for me was a shocker, and in order to understand the Bible I had to believe that nothing matters but your spirit, and that no matter what, "Spirit above matter always." just understanding that, the whole bible takes a completely different meaning, and everything starts making sense, like the Story of Abraham and the sacrifice of his primogenitor. That story what should really talk about, is the fact that wherever life is born God is there. Even in the case of an individual reaching a higher Spiritual Plato, where God was the spiritual opposition, and that individual gives birth to an spiritual son, following the rip apart of the spirit by dividing the spirit of an individual in two, and one part takes the right and the other the left, so the spirit in one side became the father, and the other new part becomes the son God is there. That is the old story of the Father and the Son, and that story is as old as humans are, because God had told that story many times before.
Was that hard to believe that up to that moment God has been always by my side being my opposition and that now it was my turn to became a man and let my spiritual son lead all my actions? Was so hard to believe that now I have to take the left being the opposition of my spiritual son, so he could exist? And then, when my spiritual son has led the way, and grow up for about twenty years, we will finally be one. Was that so hard to believe? I have never heard something of that sort, ever before in my whole life.
Twenty years is just a brief moment on time, and just twenty turns around the Sun. We will both be adults by then, and we will have reached balance once again. Even though knowing such an incredible account of the facts, still was unbelievable to know that God was that close to me, because in order to be in balance and being able to exist, you have to have four points in your spirit, and these four points switch among them as needed. For you to exist, meaning being aware of your existence, and being in balance you need these four essential points. North is the main point where the son should lead the way; South the Father-always best to face danger and the unknown; East God and West God's Son. Remember you and God are still one, regardless. Life and you are two different things but still one and the same, just like you and the Universe, two different things but still one and the same.
MacArthur was very eloquent, and convincing when he talked to me and it was hard not to understand his point. By the end of that session I overheard them say, actually they were sort of arguing with each other again, and they came back to me saying, "Tomorrow son you will take us north, and we want you to take us to a Mormon Church, and at the end of that trip you must likely will ended up getting rejected by a black priest saying, "I'm sorry but this is a black church." I said to myself, "Whatever" and I immediately heard, "What you just said Maggot?" "Nothing Sir, nothing Sir," I said very quickly.
Right then I knew I have cross over the threshold, because one thing is talking to yourself and another is arguing with yourself. Anyhow it was late and I was exhausted, so I was dreaming of my bed. When I got home really was like entering The Garden of Eden. There was peace and solace all around the house with a warm and cozy sense of home. Loved it! I fall asleep like a baby that night.
Next morning following their instructions I was getting ready to leave in my Van, and a lady approached me saying, "If you have anything you want to sell, before you leave please let us know." I don't know how she knew I was living, but she was going to grab my arm that was resting on the frame window of my Van, and as she was telling me that, I was quick to say, "Please do not touch me." It came out very awkward, but I couldn't help it, at that moment I don't know why my skin was so sensitive to the touch, and I felt like if somebody touched me it would hurt me badly. After that I told her very respectfully that I had nothing to sell. In all reality I had nothing but a couple of old mattresses and that was it.
I left that morning and like it was my custom at the time, I had my coffee with a doughnut, and it was a very calmed and early morning. It felt so good to have some time for myself, and I thought that was the beginning of a calmed and lazy day, but as soon as I finished my doughnut I heard, "Don't we have to go and find a Mormon Church up North?" I said to myself, "Here we go again" They didn't want to go in my Van, they wanted to go in my little white turbo car, so after I got my coffee we went back home and switch cars. Before I left I took a shower and put on my best clothes at the moment, and that was a pair of jeans and a blue t-shirt that a Peruvian lady, owner of one of the biggest houses in the project gave me as a gift for my good work. Like always of course I blessed the water and before I left I prayed for a blessing of safety. Right after I was finished praying, I took my little white turbo, and I started traveling north. I had not a clue where I was going, the only thing I knew was the fact that I had to go north and find a Mormon Church. I asked myself why a Mormon Church? And the answer came to my mind. The answer was simple God asked me a few days before, "If you were to tell a mayor religion about your understanding of the Holy gospel, which one would be the religion of your choosing?" I remember my answer was, "The Mormon Church" God's answer was, "Good luck with that. Go and tell them the good news. Remember that your 40 days and 40 nights are not over yet, and so far so good, you have been good, your faith is strong, and that's good very good. Let me tell you something, even if you survive these forty days, and get to tell the Mormon Church no one will believe you except for one. You might think they will be happy to hear from me, but don't worry thinking about that you will have plenty of time to see with your own eyes. One of the problems I want you to try to tell them about is the problem related to the prison system. A nation or a group of people that say to follow me would never torture, never ever, because if they truly follow me, they will know that the only thing they are doing is torturing me. Remember that anyone can worship me, in any way they want to, and if they want to gather and say thanks to me that's fine, but that doesn't make them more or less in front of me. Let me tell you that Killing and torturing are two of the greatest insults to me, and I condemn them both, but out of the two, torture is by far the worst. I am a God of mercy, and whenever I can I take the place of those in eminent danger of dying, and I even lie to them if necessary so they don't suffer. Remember that I am with you at the moment of your conception and at the moment of death as well. I am the giver and I am the taker. When your soul comes back to me, I try to fix the problem that caused that soul to go bad, but Humans are about to reach the point where they have everything to restore my house to what once was. My home once was the Garden of Eden. If after all they decide not to honor that fact, it will be there choice, and most likely you will have to tell them, when I told you to do so "J.. … … … Four." What I mean with that is completely spiritual, because I have done everything possible to fix the problems with your design as a human. That is a design chosen by you, and if you know me a bit, you know that I am the greatest Carpenter of all, that's why if you ever want to speak in my name you need to become a master carpenter first. There is many lessons to be learned in tinkering with matter. Doing so gives you an idea of whom and what I am, and I am who I am, and matter is what matter is. They are two different things, but still one and the same. As the master of all masters, I have giving you all the tools that you need to alter reality. Every human is endowed by me to alter reality, and you are capable of doing miracles, miracles are not magic tricks. I have giving you the authority, and the knowledge to accomplished miracles, and when the time comes for you to talk in my name, will be the time when you all as humans will have to answer one simple question from me, "Are you with me or not? I am God and I chose to let my son to lead the way, meaning whatever I do is for a good cause first, and I am giving you the best of me, and you will have the choice one more time, to choose to follow me or not. In this Universe there is no right or wrong only where we draw the line or are you with me, or you are against me. I have faith that you will choose wisely."
I took my little car and on I went to the highway. I had no clear destination in mind, and while driving north I thought, "One day more, one day less." I have to admit that there were moments where I have my doubts about what I was experiencing. I got in the highway and I really felt like I was seated in the passenger side, because I had nothing to do with the driving. It was like putting the car in autopilot and I was admiring the landscape enjoying the ride. I remember while driving that the car got intentionally very close to a truck, and almost getting under the frame of the truck, between the front and the back double wheels. That was risky, very risky and dangerous, but in my mind I was not driving, the ones driving were Patton and MacArthur, and they were having fun just like cowboys in a movie. They were driving recklessly and I have to admit that I was having fun. After being driving in the highway for over half an hour at least, we got to Fort Lauderdale and I stopped in a big parking lot, and as I got out of the car-still in one piece thanks God for that-an old man and who appeared to me to be his older son crossed my way, and I asked them, "Do you know where can I find a Mormon Church?" and the younger man said to me, "Mormon Church my dick!" As he grabbed his crutch and gave me the finger." His dad grabbed him putting his arm over his shoulder saying, "Calm down son. Don't be so disrespectful." and they kept walking and so I did. I saw a big grocery store and I started walking towards it, and as I was walking through the parking lot, there was a painting truck with a ladder tied over to the truck's bed. When I walk by I could saw the ladder had blood stains in it. As a painter I could tell that somebody had a bad accident in it, and reminded me of one of my co-workers-a Colombian coworker that once before, he had broken his leg in a ladder accident. This coworker out of desperation because of his bad financial situation, he told me that he was so desperate, that he wanted to break his leg again so he could make an insurance claim. The last time he broke his leg he received about $150,000 and that money very soon was all gone. He gave a good down payment on an okay house, bought a couple cars, but in a couple years the money was all gone, and now he was about to lose the house. Sadly enough I saw him trying to break his leg at work, a couple of times while he was working close by to me. He was desperate and it was hard to believe that somebody will do something like that to himself. Good thing he was unsuccessful while I was around, but for what I've heard he had a ladder accident a couple of months after I left that painting company. He was sick of life, and sick of working like an animal just to barely survive. He was desperate to provide for his family, and all those thoughts came to me at that moment and I remembered as I looked to the blood stains on the ladder, that he used to say, "This is Berraco." It meant something like, "This is wicked!" Looking at that ladder reminded me how much of a mess is to be Spanish here in America. Unless you can work two jobs you can't make it, at the same time no human been can work that hard for too long. Working that many hours a week is impossible to keep up with that rhythm in the long run, especially when it comes to a thirty years mortgage. I was thinking about that while walking towards the grocery store, and I don't know why but people were staring at me as they walked by with their grocery carts. Then when I got to the store I stop at public phone and I started looking for a Mormon Church in the phone book. As I was doing that people started gathering around me. At that moment I don't remember doing anything unusual, but as the people got closer to me I asked, "Excuse me. Do you know where I can find a Mormon Church?" but nobody answered me and I saw a white guy, way bigger than me trying to pick pocket me. I saw him through the corner of my eye, and as he turn around trying to pretend that I didn't see him, I turned around and I faced him saying, "Is this what you're looking for?" and I showed him and handed him my wallet. He looked at me with big surprised eyes, took the wallet out of my hand and started looking for cash. I said to him, "Whatever you take from me, God will give me back ten times over whatever you took from me, and you will lose ten times what you think you're taking from me." He took all the cash I had on that wallet. He took almost twenty dollars. He took the money and left the wallet over the paid phone. At that moment asked one more time to a white lady, "Do you know where I can find a Mormon Church?" she just kept walking and as I was going to get into the store, a security guy came and told me something, but he spoke to me so fast that I couldn't understand a word of what he was saying. I understood that he said wait here I'm going to give you the address. He turned around and as he was living I did ask him "Do you know where I can find a Mormon Church?" then again as he walked away he said something I couldn't understand, I thought he said at the end "Wait a moment there I will look that in the phone book." And I did start waiting for him thinking how nice he was, I thought he was getting a paper to write down an address or something, but in less than a couple of minutes a police car arrived and the Police officer said something to me, and I don't remember why I had such a hard time understanding what they were saying at the time. He did make me turn around and he slammed me against the police car and hand cuff me, he put the hand cuffs really tight, put me inside the car and took me to a nearby jail where they booked me in. They took my picture and my finger prints and put me in a cell where there were at list over twenty people of all colors and sizes. I remember telling the guard almost as soon as I saw him "I am famish, I am parched" I was using the words that one of the carpenters taught me at my job, he was from England, and he always used to tell me how bad American English was.
Good thing he came back in less than ten minutes and gave me his food I guess, because I know it wasn't dinner time. I eat it like an animal, I was starving or I was in an emotional distress. The food was two based eggs and rice with French fries and it was cold but I was hungry. What a great combination if you want to gain weight that is. Anyhow after I did devour the food I felt like taking a nap badly, but first I had to bless the place. I did stand in the middle of the room and tried to find true North closing my eyes and turning around-at that moment in time I truly believed that I could sense where North was-and when I found North, I closed my arms crossing them over my chest, and touching my shoulders with the tip of my fingers, I put my head down, and with a loud voice I said, "My Heavenly Father, giving you thanks for all your blessings, I ask you with a humble heart to bless this place. Bless this place so it becomes a place where you can rest awhile. Come over my Lord and bless this place in the name of the Father, in the name of the Son…" as I finished saying that part I started extending and contracting my arms one at a time saying, "Do take unto and receive. Receive these blessings in the name of the Father, in the name of the Son. Blessed this place is. Thanks my Lord, and I leave these things by the love that I have for you now and always, thank you." Everybody was looking at me, and as I ended doing that, one guy asked me, "What did you just eat or smoked buddy? I want some of that!" and as a few laughed out loud with him, I got in one of the beds, and covered myself with the sheet all the way up including my head. I went to sleep like a baby after I shook the dices really quick right there and then. There was no privacy and nothing I could do about it; I guess it was like my last wish. I remember thinking and feeling that I was getting close to die for sure.
Later on I woke up to laud voice and it was the voice of an older tall black guy that he couldn't stop talking. He was about 6'3" and he was bothering everyone. He couldn't stop talking non sense, and I was unable to understand what he was saying in detail, but I felt insulted by the tone of what he was saying and I through a glass of water in his face telling him in a very commanding tone, "Shut up! Leave us in peace!" Right after I did that I started getting ready for war-I thought for sure he was going to try to beat me up-but for my surprise he just stayed quiet and calmed thereafter.
After a few minutes of calm one of the guys on that cell got closer to me and said, "Thanks for making that annoying guy to keep his mouth shut." I guess this guy wanted to make friends with me, but I wasn't in the mood. He even went to say, "I saw you rolling the dices. Do you want some more action?" I just turned around and let him talking by himself. At that moment a big prison guard came over and asked me to go with him. He took me to an empty metal room and asked me to change my clothes to an orange suit. I refused to do so and he left me in that room. He left me there for a while, I don't know for how long, but it was for sure over half an hour. The room was pretty much a freezer and the temperature kept going down minute by minute, I thought I was going to freeze to death, but after a while the guard came back with another guard even bigger than him, and with baton in hand they asked me if I was going to change my clothes or not, at that moment I accepted the ultimatum. After I changed my clothes, they put me in solitary confinement. I don't know how long I was there, but every minute seemed like an eternity. In that cell all by myself I remember wanting to know what time it was so bad that I was going nuts trying to know what time it was. Being all by myself I tried to recall the sequence of how things happened to figure out what time it was, but I couldn't. The only thing I knew for sure is that I got arrested on a Friday night. I fall asleep thinking about that.
Sunday morning was when I got the next clue about what day was only because a person asked me if I was a Mormon, and I said "Yes I am." This person stopped by my cell and she left as quickly as she came. About an hour later she brought me in a typical LDS tray "The sacrament"-a little paper cup with blessed water and a little piece of bread. For those who don't know what a Mormon Sacrament is, it refers to the ordinance of partaking of bread and water in remembrance of Christ's atoning sacrifice. The broken bread represents his broken flesh; the water represents the blood that he shed to atone for our sins (1 Cor. 11:23-25; D&C 27:2)-I took the sacrament and I was glad that the lady told me that it was Sunday morning around 11am. Later on a guard came and told me, "Tomorrow morning you are scheduled to see the Judge" and he left. What a long Sunday that was, what a long weekend that was.
Early in the morning I guess, I was not sure about what time it was, but they handed me a big pile of chains and told me to put them on-I didn't know the name at the time but they were shackles-I thought at first that it was a bad joke, but no, they are still in use to restrict prisoners and they are mandatory to see the Judge and for the transportation of prisoners. After I put them on they opened my cell door and took me to a van. For my surprise I ended up seated right by the black guy that I threw the glass of water at. He called me brother when he saw me, and I answered with brother as well. When we got to the court building they told us to wait for the Judge. While waiting the black guy said to me "If the Judge ask you how do you plead, just say "I do not accept!" and if he insist don't say anything but the words, "I do not accept." Don't call the judge, "Judge" call him "Your Honor" they like that. That's how you need to call the guy on a black dress if you don't want to end up in more troubles." Thanks I said and I followed his advice. We were all in a line and when got to be my turn I was able to see the Judge, and he was high up in a TV set. That really surprised me, I thought we were going to talk to somebody in person but no. So there I was in front of a TV and talking to a microphone. He asked me right away why I was there and I explained to him that I was looking for a Mormon Church, and last thing I know I asked to a security guard at the grocery store, where I could find a Mormon Church, and he said to me to wait for a few, at least that was what I understood, and as I was waiting for him to come back a police officer appeared and arrested me, and I still don't know why? The Judge said to me, "You are being detained for trespassing after warning. How do you plea?" I said, "I do not accept your Honor." I still remember the Judge cleaning his glasses and looking to the side like his eyes were hurting while talking to me. He repeated the question and I repeated my answer, right after that he said out loud, "Next!"
When we were done they took us back to our cells and finally on my cell they handed me the key to take the chains off of me. It felt okay for a moment, but for me it was hard to believe that I was in jail for trying to find a Mormon Church. Anyhow after awhile of being patient and saying to myself that everything was going to be okay, I kind of lost it. I kind of panic and I started thinking, "What in the hell is going on with me?" I started thinking that I was never going to be free again and I was leaning on the wall with my forehead. I started beating the wall with my forehead over and over again and every time a bit harder. I was doing that when I heard the voice of God saying, "Sorry, I just needed to see something in the prison system." Right after hearing that in my mind and all around me I heard a guard that came to my cell and he said, "Hey you are supposed to be out in a couple hours." I looked at him with tears in my eyes and I said "Okay, thanks." To hear that for sure made me feel better, I really thought I was going to stay there forever. Anyhow those couple of hours felt like an eternity.
After hours of waiting they finally showed up and gave me my clothes back. Is hard to explain how much I missed at that time to be in my regular clothes, because I really felt like a slave. Right after they transferred me to a building where there was a lot of people and all of them, I guess, waiting to be released. There were a lot of young people, and I'm really sure that at least there were around a hundred people. I was just looking around when it came to my mind the fact that I had to bless that building, and so I did. I stand right in the middle of the room and I said with my arms wide open, "Take unto and receive in the Name of God and in the name of his Son. In the name of the father and in the name of my son I bless this place. My Heavenly Father, bless this building so this place is worth your presence. Thanks my Lord."
Right after I blessed that place I sat down and a young guy sat by my side and asked me, "Did you just bless this building in the name of God?" Yes I replied to him and he asked me, "What kind of drug did you take bro" None I said and he smiled and kept talking none sense. I didn't paid much attention to what he was talking about because in my mind I just couldn't wait to be free again. In my mind I just couldn't believe that people in these days were being treated just like slaves in the old times, and especially here in America.
Finally after an hour or so they let me go and I was free one more time, I was free again but I didn't have a clue where I was. Once I got outside I started walking without really knowing where I was going. I knew how to get back to Miami from where I parked my car, but after that five minutes ride in the back of a police car when they arrested me really got me disoriented. At that moment I felt overwhelm, my hands started shaking, and then I said to myself, "Calm down. Remember, one step at a time. Simplify." I sat on the grass, on the side of a parking lot outside the building where I was, and that parking lot looked just like the one where I got arrested, but I knew it was not the same one. As I sat on the grass I took a little thin branch that was lying on the grass, and I started breaking it into little pieces. While I was doing that I started to think what I was going to do because I didn't have not even a penny to my name, and I knew I was far away from home. After a few minutes breaking that little branch into pieces I calmed down and I started to come back to my senses. As I breathe deeply and I looked around, I saw a church and I thought, "Maybe this is the church that I've been looking for." It was a white wooden chapel with a little Coventry Cupola on top of the roof that looked just like the chapel, including the detail of a white wooden cross with no Christ in it. As I looked in more detail I noticed that the cross in the main building was a little bit crooked. I don't know why it caught my attention so much the fact that the cross didn't align symmetrically with the face of the building, but that was the time when I started to look things with the eye of a carpenter.
I walked to the church that was across the street and the front door it was open, so I got inside of this old chapel. Nobody was around and I started to look at the wooden benches. I was so nicely surprised to see natural oak wood benches with hand carvings on the side of the arm rests. The wood work was exquisite and as I was admiring the wood carvings, a mature black man approached me and asked me what I was looking for, I said to him "I was looking for a Mormon Church because I wanted to talk with somebody in the name of God, and I wanted to ask them a few questions and such but I stopped to ask for directions, and to make the story short I got arrested. They brought me to the building across the street, and now I need to go back to my house, and I don't have any money for transportation, I am hungry, and actually I don't have any idea where I am right now. Could you believe that? They arrested me for asking directions trying to find a Mormon Church." He looked at me directly in the eye and taking his glasses off very seriously he said, "I would love to help you, but this is a black people church." After I heard that I was out of words, I said back to him very respectfully, "Oh I understand." I turned around and left with another whole in my heart thinking in my mind, "How come that a person that has no idea of what God is can be working in a church? How can that be?" Then I heard the voice of God saying, "That's why I am here. Like I said before "If everybody was doing what they were supposed to be doing, things would be completely different. I don't care how much the rich have, but when they are raping children, they are raping me. That's why I'm here again. Like you could see I am for you Humans very black myself, no offense but the illusion of seeing the color black is nothing but an illusion, because you can't see black and your mind is filling the blank. Anyhow I was expecting more from him, he is not doing what he supposed to be doing. Wait until he does come back to me cuz Oh! Uh! I ain't fixing him again, enough it is enough! A lot of people think because you are going to speak in the name of God you are going to say nothing but pretty things, they are wrong, as things they are, news can't be good. Actually you will be the barer of the most important news in a very long time, because by the time I do ask you to speak in my name J.. … … … Four. This time I am putting my foot down, and this time is for good. He should've helped you regardless of your color or race. If he knew something about me, he should've helped you. Remember the reason why I am putting my foot down this time and it is because, "If you don't know me by now you will never, ever know me." There is a reason why I do stay away from some people. Don't you worry son, sometimes if it wasn't for people like you, there would be no human race at all on the face of this planet." Then after a few minutes of silence God said to me, "Don't you like to walk and think? Don't you?" and I started to walk with no direction in mind at all. I kept walking east, and the only reason I knew it was east was because as my friend Mike once explained me, "When the numbers on a street start to increase is because you are going in that direction." As I kept walking forward I saw far ahead an intersection leading to the highway, at least it seemed to me but I couldn't tell for sure from where I was. So I started walking forward one step at a time. The only thing I knew at that moment was the fact that I was far away from Hialeah, and in my mind I thought, "It took me about forty five minutes on the highway to get where I was, and I was driving a fast little turbo car. I drove forty five minutes, considering sixty miles an hour, forty five minutes is three quarters, and three quarters out of sixty is forty five miles, because going sixty miles an hour is about a mile a minute. I was going faster than sixty but at least that game me an idea how far I was." After I did the math on my head I thought, "What good is to know how far you are?" I said to myself, "Just keep walking." I walked and walked and on top of all that the only way I knew how to get back to my house was through the highways, and because of all the canals and winding roads, I knew the only way back was through the highways. Once I got to the intersection I was happy to find out that it was the Palmetto Highway, but to be honest with you, even in a car a highway is intimidating, and is even more on foot, but Oh well, up on to the highway on foot I went. After walking for hours on the highway, hitch hiking once every few minutes, with no luck I must ad, and started to get dark. The sun disappeared behind the horizon and everything little by little started to look grey. I kept a steady pace but I was starting to get really tired and thirsty. With the high temperatures and the Sun hitting these massive concrete roads, the heat gets absorbed by the concrete, and even if the Sun was gone, the highway was still scorching hot even after dark. I was getting very dehydrated and was sweating profusely. I was trying to keep myself entertained thinking as I was walking, about all this crazy experiences that I was going through. In my mind I was at the edge of madness and I was hanging in there by a thread, but still I have not hurt myself or anybody else as a matter of fact, so it was still okay. While walking I found a phrase that described me well at that moment, and cracked myself up while walking, I thought, "I am mental and sad, but still social." At that moment I wanted to die for sure, I had no reasons to live for but this voice was keeping me alive, and for whatever was, it was a beautiful experience for me. At that moment in my life God was talking to me, God was giving me an explanation about why I was here on Earth, and that was a precious thing for me to know. For the first time it all made sense, and that in itself was something beautiful in my mind.
While walking I started thinking, "For those who believe that there is no God, how easy is for them to think that this life is really simple. Imagine being able to believe that you can do whatever you wish, and whatever you want, because there is no other than this one life." Actually with what God has told me that was true, because most likely for them, that's how it was going to end. At that moment it was nice to think about the same questions and doubts I had for the longest time, with the only difference that with God told me everything took a complete different meaning.
That there is nothing but this life is something that many really want to believe, because that way there is nothing to worry about but the present itself. Have you noticed how convenient is to think like that? How convenient is to think that there is nothing but humans alive in this whole Universe, and how convenient it is to think that there is no fault for whatever you have done, no consequences, no nothing. How easy and convenient is to think that you will never pay for your transgressions, and how simple to understand. How easy and logic things are for those who do not care about life. They are not with God, so they are against God, and God is great. God lets them because at the end life follows life.
God it is the ultimate Alfa, and I bowed to God the living God, the one who gave me my life, and yours as well. It is his will for you to be here in God's house, you are in Heaven and is God wish that you die old. Is God's will that you be here until you exhausted, use and abuse the body God put you in… I was thinking about all that stuff when I heard a car hitting the gravel over the shoulder of the highway where I was walking, and it hit it really hard. When I looked back I realized that was a highway trooper, and I thought, "Man! I am so toasted now. I'm going back to jail." He asked me to stop and put my hands in the air through a loud megaphone with the typical one short play of the siren. I don't know why I got so scared, but I feared for my life. I wanted to run just out of instincts, but the voice said to me, "Do not move not even an inch. Easy boy this one is one big wolf on sheep clothing." The trooper came out of the car and asked me if I didn't see the sign, he said "The sign! Didn't you see the sign that says Pedestrians not allowed on the highway? Hablo English?" I said, "A little." He asked me where I was going, and I told him that I was going to Hialeah, I told him that the highway was the only way I knew how to get there, and I didn't have money for transportation, he said, "License and registration" and corrected himself saying, "Do you have any ID?" I gave him my Driver License and he said, "Wait here!" So I did. After a few he came over and gave me my Driver License back saying, "You can't be here in the highway. I'll take you to the nearest exit." Before I got in the car he said, "You need to put these ones on." I don't know what kind of face I made at that moment because he added, "Don't worry is just protocol for you to get in a police car." He hand cuffed me and put me on the back of the car. Honestly I thought I was going back to Jail again or I was going to disappear out of the face of the Earth one of the two. After I got in the car and we started moving, he asked me why I was walking back to Hialeah instead of taking the bus. I told him the story, "I went for a joy ride trying to find a Mormon Church North of Hialeah, and I parked my car… and so on and so forth." At the end I finished with my favorite word at the time, I said "Unbelievable!" The trooper stud in silence and soon he said, "Your arrest doesn't appear on record. I checked you record and still is clean, no arrests, no nothing." By then we were on one of the highways exits, and he stopped on the side of the road, got my handcuffs off, and before he let me go he gave me a quarter saying, "Here is a quarter so you can call somebody to come and pick you up." He turned around and left.
Right at that exit of this highway there was a paid phone so I looked where I was and gave Mrs. Dora a call. When she answered the phone I explained very shortly what has happened to me, and I explained that I was stranded and I needed a ride home. I was still in Fort Lauderdale and right after I gave her the address she said, "I don't know how to get there. I don't know where that address is at, and it is too far for me, and is getting late." She was in the middle of giving me excuses when the time run out and a message came on saying, "If you wish to continue with your call, please deposit an additional twenty five cents." I was in disbelieved. I had nobody to call for help, and not even a quarter to my name to make another call. I was tired, hungry and a little bit more than upset. At that moment I thought I couldn't keep going, my legs were extremely tired, but at the same time I knew that my only way out, was to start walking again. With no other choice I had to go back in the highway because there was a train yard under the overpass, and there was no other way that I could go through to the other side without getting on the highway again. Before I got on the highway again, I looked around the underpass into the train yard, but everywhere I looked was fenced, and there was private property signs all over. I looked left and right and there was no end in sight of that fence. I had no choice but to go back over the highway, and I thought for sure I was going to get arrested one more time, and this time for a repeated offense after an officer warned me, and let me go the first time. I hurry up as much as I could and when I got to the other side for my surprise I was closer to Hialeah that what I thought, I started to recognize the area, and I knew how to get home from there without using the highway. That was a big relief, but at the same time now I knew for sure how far I was. I was closer than what I thought, but I was still far away from home.
From that moment that was around ten pm I walked straight no stop until seven thirty in the morning. I walked all night long, and when I finally arrived to my block, I was beyond exhaustion, and I was starving. I got home and there was no food, and I had no money either, good thing I had plenty of water to drink and it was blessed water. I filled myself up with water, and I was so tired that regardless of my hunger, I went to sleep like a baby anyways.
Next day I called every tow company in Fort Lauderdale, and none of them had my car. I called the police, even mechanical shops around the area where I got arrested, but nobody had a clue about my car. After awhile I started to give up on my little turbo car and that was really depressing. I really liked that little car. It was so fast. I really loved my turbo Sprint. Later on that day I went to Mike's house and I started complaining about losing my car to Sigrid, and she told me that Mrs. Dora called Mike in the middle of the night, and gave him the address I gave to Mrs. Dora, and that Mike tried to find me but he couldn't. The address that Mrs. Dora gave him didn't have a city or a zip code in it. After talking for a bit with her Mike arrived and we started talking about what happened. We were talking about that when somebody knocked the door, and it was Mrs. Dora. She came over and gave me a hug saying, "We were so worried about you, nobody knew what was going on with you, and you called me so late." Mike added, "Sigrid was going nuts! I have never seen her so worried about somebody. She was very worried about you." And as he said the last sentence, "She was all worried." He did these movements of hands over his bold head that for me were so funny that I couldn't help to laugh at. He always cracked me up. I really liked Mike's sense of humor and his eccentric gestures.
We had dinner all together that evening and it was such a nice time; everybody was in a happy mood; even Erika was playing with food in her High Chair, smiling, and making that high pitch sound of her-a very contagious shriek here and there like always. She was so cute. That dinner it was a very special dinner for me, for some reason that dinner felt pretty much like The Last Supper, because I knew at that moment that I was going to leave soon to Salt Lake City or I was going to get deported or I was going to lose my mind or I was going to get killed, one of the four, but for sure I felt uneasy to say the least. The trip to Salk Lake seemed a bit like a dream at the time, because I had not even a penny to my name, and I have never before driven all by myself such a long distance.
After we sat at the table while eating, I started thinking about having these outstanding and profound revelations about God, and all the things that I have been through since I got here to the U.S.. I probably looked for them like I was spacing out of my mind, but they knew me already. While eating I started to think that now my only chance to stay here in the U.S. depended on my family, because I knew that I needed a hand financially, and psychologically as well. I knew at that time that I needed some emotional support, and I wasn't sure if my family was willing to give me a hand. One thing was for sure though I couldn't stay in Miami, because I had no work and no means to stay. At that time my mom and my sister Belinda were already here in Salt Lake City, and as far as I knew at that moment in my life God was right there with me, but God couldn't help me in any material way. God was there with me in spirit only.
Knowing that soon I was going to leave one way or another, I took a picture in my mind of that moment while all of us were seated at the table thinking, "This dinner might be the last time we all ever seat together at the table." That dinner was indeed the last time we ever sat together at the table.
The next morning I woke up still full from that dinner and that was great, but I was worried about what was coming next. I had no money, no food, and Christmas was around the corner. I had in my mind to come to Salt Lake but in all reality I had not even asked my Sister or my mom Mercedes if they could give me a hand when I got there. At that moment I sort of panic and I called my mom Mercedes that day. I called my Mom Mercedes she was already here in Salt Lake City, living with my sister Belinda in a two bedroom apartment. My sister Belinda at the time had a full house. She had my Mom, two kids and her husband. They were five people in a little two bedroom apartment, and I asked my Mom if she could ask Belinda and Eduardo if I could stay with them while I find a Job, and I rented my own space. I explained to her that I didn't want to go back to Chile, and I was going through some hard times because of the slowdown of the economy, and I wanted to stay here in the U.S.. I asked her if they could give me a hand, and my Mom Mercedes told me, "I will ask them when I find a good time to talk to them. You know your Sister." That was her answer and the conversation ended right there. I really didn't know what to make out of that answer, for me it was like my mom really didn't care, and honestly I didn't know my sister anymore. My sister Belinda and I used to be very close to each other when we were little, but since she started High School she dished me, then she got married, and then she moved to the U.S. For me it was hard to understand why my mom was so hesitant to ask her if I could crash at her house, especially now when I really needed a hand. My sister when I called her she acted like she didn't have the time to talk to me, and put my mom Mercedes on the phone really quick.
Very soon Christmas was upon me and it felt great and horrible at the same time. That Christmas was my first Christmas completely alone and away from my family. That Christmas I had no presents, no food, and not even a calling card to call my momma, and that was tough, really tough. I was going through a lot of pain, and nobody was there for me but God. Honestly it was a very sweet and sour moment in my life. On one side I was missing my son, I was heartbroken, and at the same time God was there with me to tell me not to blame him for all the bad in this world.
Regardless of what it was, I was thinking of that when I looked outside and a few cars parked right in front of my house. For my surprise they were Bob Rodriguez, Bob Maureen and my Jamaican friend. They came over to bring me over some money that they had collected at the Job Site, because they knew I was going through a hard time, and they wanted to give me a hand. At the same time like they knew I was living, they wanted to wish me good look before I left. They knew I was going back to Chile or I was going to Utah to visit my Sister first, but either or I was leaving, so they came to say good bye, and wish me good luck. That was totally unexpected and very nice of them.
They talked to me for a few minutes, gave me the money they have collected, and very soon they started saying good bye. Bob Maureen was the first one to leave. He left after he offered me a beer out of his cooler on the back of his truck. He always carried with him a cooler with some beers on the back of his truck, and I remember his favorite beer was Budweiser. He wished me good luck and left. I was so weak that I remember getting tipsy with that one beer. It was nice nonetheless to see them again and to know that they cared about me. Bob Rodriguez and my Jamaican friend stood for a bit longer talking to me. They collected hundred and twenty dollars and after a few they gave me the money, wish me good luck, said good bye and left. That was very nice of them, and to be honest that is the closest thing I have ever been to witness a miracle.
As soon as I received that money I knew that if I wanted to come to Utah, I had to leave as soon as possible, because I was out of everything, and those hundred and twenty dollars was all I had. Right after they left I started getting everything ready to start my next adventure.
Next morning I woke up early after staying late the night before getting everything ready to start my trip. The first thing I did along with getting me a coffee with a doughnut that morning, was to open my U.S. map and take a look at the route I was going to take to get from Florida to Salt lake City, Utah. On those times a map was a folded piece of paper, with all the roads and highways. Can you picture somebody looking at those old maps, and getting tangled trying to fold them back after you opened them? They were terrible and that was all you had on those times to know where you were going. That map was all I had to start my trip, and on top of all that everybody was telling me, as you travel north the weather starts getting colder and colder, so get some winter clothes.
I started my trip that very same day. I grabbed my sport bag, my two carpenter levels, and my tool bag, that was all I had. That tool bag was now part of my life hood along with my painting tools. I had my short extension, my medium extension, my five Gallons bucket, my cutting bucket, my five-way and my two paint brushes-one for water base paints, and the other paint brush for oil paints. Now thanks to these two new trades I had doubled my chances to survive here in the U.S.
After I started my trip while driving I started to think, "At a point I was getting ready to blow my head off, but now my idea of blowing my head off has disappeared, and now I had the understanding of knowing that whatever I was thinking, if I believed in God, I had to wait until I was Forty five years old before I reached a definitive conclusion and a valid answer. After I turn forty-five then I could decide to finish my life because at that time God will understand and there will be no hard feelings, because I would be making use of my free agency as a grown man. Suicide or assisted death is not right, but after you are forty-five-years old as a man, and thirty-five-years old as a woman, suicide is not a sin.
God had offered me the chance to speak in his name, and the chance to work for him in the future, maybe. Before that happened I had to become a Master Carpenter, follow the path, and make my living without lying or stealing. I thought here in the U.S. to make my living in an honest way, the way God wanted me to do so, was not easy but possible, at least I had better chances here in the U.S. than there back in my country. At least I knew at that moment that I had to stay here on Earth, at least until I was forty-five-years old.
As I was driving north I had plenty of time think about, and one of the things that really caught my attention, was the fact that at that time in my life, in those forty days, I never felt so much the presence of Evil as well. I could see Evil everywhere I went, always present in another person, and not in spirit, actually in those forty days I was able to feel and see things that only God could see in people, unbelievable! Let me tell you that to see a person's spirit in many cases is by far not a pleasant experience. Sometimes in those forty days I saw people and then I saw their spirit, and many of them looked like zombies in a movie, and if I got closer to them, they stink just like their sins. Some even had human skulls hanging on their necks; others had children's souls trapped inside of them. Getting closer to God is not that easy. Remember the words "Those who serve God will take the last chair." What that really means is that God is always in flesh and blood here on Earth, but he always is taking the last chair. I remember in those forty days waking up in the middle of the night seeing the interaction of God and a little girl trapped in some place, being raped repeatedly and she was about to die from the abuse. I remember God getting close to her, and asking her, "Do you want to leave now with me?" The little girl was asking God not to hurt his offender, and for some reason God needed to have the girls consent for God to take her. One of the characteristics of the spirit is that at a point in that moment of birth of death, there is a point where they can disappear forever. An spirit is something wild and very hard to get close to it. That is a characteristic of God as well. God is in essence the wildest of all, and to get close to God is like a wild bird landing in your shoulder. Not an easy thing to do. At the end the girl finally agreed to take God's hand, and God grabbed her took her to safety and God took her place. That was so weird, to see the switch between views. In one moment I saw God taking the girls hand, and then I saw everything from the girl's point of view, and I even felt her pain, and the most incredible thing that she had love for her aggressor in her heart. Once God took her place everything changed though, and before the girl's body expired God stroke the guy right in the eye and he took the guys eyes out of the eye socket, and I could see the blood and the expression of surprise and terror in the guy's eyes, then all of the sudden, peace and harmony again. To get closer to God is not an easy thing to experience; it can easily take you out of your spiritual balance for sure.
Let me give you an example about Evil here on Earth the way I saw it at that time: After that time I was arrested and we had dinner at Mike's house with Mrs. Dora, she heard me saying I was looking for a Church, so she invited me to her church. I accepted the invitation and what an Evil experience that was. Even if I had gone with her to her church a few times before, this time when I went with her to her church, I was seeing things with a completely different set of eyes. I was inside of the forty days.
Mrs. Dora's church had three Crosses instead of just one cross. These three crosses were outside and right in front of this chapel. They were right in the middle of a beautiful tropical landscape, so typical of Florida. We went to a very especial Sunday service, as Mrs. Dora had told me this service was going to be televised and transmitted live all over the world. When we got there the place was packed and we were lucky to find a good pair of seats for the both us. We ended up in the left side of this big church auditorium, right behind the center stage and one of the main entrances, so we had an okay view. The place was packed with people and it was so loud that we had to yell back and forth to talk to each other. Very soon we got tired of yelling at each other, and we ended up quietly watching what was going on. We had a very good view of the whole place, and I could see people on the stage running cables, and preparing the cameras. I was having fun watching that when the announcer got in front of the microphone and he gave a great introduction to the Priest. When the announcer named the priest everybody started applauding, and then when the priest started talking it got really quiet. The priest started talking, and like always for me he was just talking none sense, so I just spaced out inside my mind and I started praying to God. I was in the middle of that when I got interrupted by the voice and God said to me, "Pay attention to what he is saying. Listen to this priest message." I opened my eyes and my ears, and started paying attention. The preacher at that moment was saying something on these lines, "Today brothers and sisters we meet here one more time in the name of the Lord, and we all know that we owed to him everything we've got. The Lord loves you and he needs you! He needs every single one of us and more, that's why if you have a friend or somebody that you know tell him to come to the Lord, insist and bring them here to the house of the Lord. Here we will introduce them to the true Lord, the one that is alive and we have to tell them to come and meet with him. The Lord wants to tell them that no matter how bad they are we need them. The Lord needs you! No matter how bad you are at the end you can always repent when you go to heaven, remember that. Together we can be stronger and if you become part of our family we can help you, and the doors of heaven will open to you, and success will come to you in this life not in the next one. Be part of our family, here, it doesn't matter how poor you are, we will make you great here on Earth, and the only thing we ask from you, is a very simple thing. If you are a man we ask for your ring, and if you are a woman we ask for your crown. Come and meet the Lord, joint us brothers and sisters that there is no other life than this life, and you have to make the best of it, remember that you can always repent when you go to heaven. And now let us pray before we go live through the miracle of television. Soon we will go live and we will connect with thousands of lost souls. Help us pray brothers and sisters to those lost souls. Let those lost souls find solace in our family, help us to make our church greater than ever, and now let us pray. Here it is our sister Marry. She is something very special to our Lord. Let us pray."
She stood up waiving to the crowd and sat down right after she received a big applause. She was right in front of the center of the stage, and as soon as she sat down the music came on. I was in one piece, I was seeing it, listening to it, but I couldn't believe it. The music was not any regular music, the music was a sound coming out of a few big speakers, and it was nothing but loud distortion in a very low tone. The noise was the very definition of satanic music, and as the volume faded down the girl started praying. The only thing she was doing in my eyes was nothing but having a sexual orgasm out loud, and of course she was speaking in tongues. When she was done everybody applauded and the announcer said at that moment, "And now we go live in three, two, one. Now brothers and sister live from Miami our favorite Priest Mr. Blab bla, bla..." and the same priest came back and started talking about a story in the Bible with the Bible in hand. I just couldn't believe it. Now like I was saying, that is Evil for show.
I started my trip to Salt Lake City, Utah, and I had never before in my life taken such a long drive, and on top of all that, "The last straw that broke the camel's back," was that, I wasn't sure if my Van could make it all the way. That Van, I was not even supposed to take it out of state because I was still making payments on it, but I had no choice. My other car, my Turbo Sprint could make it for sure, but I lost it, so I prayed to God asking for good luck, because traveling on that van, I was going to need a lot of luck to make it all the way to Utah.
At that moment I felt like the decision of coming to Salt Lake City or going back to my country was already made for me. In my mind I had the clear conviction that I had decided to follow "The Path," regardless.
I was glad that one more time God had saved my rear end, and even if I had reached the conclusion that living this life was not worth it, now I had to wait until my spiritual son had reached maturity before I could ask myself the question if this life was worth the trouble.
God told me before I left, "I will accept your will whatever decision you take. I have giving you that right. The right of living or not living is part of your free agency. That right must be yours, and it is yours. I will accept your will like it or not, but please do not commit suicide as a child. I know how much you do love me son, and in the name of that love, I want you to remember that if you ever want to quit the path I will understand, but never attempt against your life before you are forty-five-years old. Please! Like I said before, you can quit at any time after that, and even if I don't like it, at least know that if you do it as a mature individual, suicide will not be a sin, but still you will be a quitter, and "I don't much like quitters son." Remember don't forget the message "Four" I know you have bad memory, and I'm working on it. Don't worry son, will be in touch with the numbers like I taught you, and remember to tell them that if they can count up to ten, they can understand me. Don't forget to tell them that science and I are one and the same. Remember that you cannot be the only smart living thing alive in this whole universe, and by pure mathematical and brute strength, you can confirm that such a thing is near to impossible. Son of mine be careful and as your mom Nieves used to say to you, "Habilosito pue!"-Be Smart. Always!"
When I started the trip to Salt Lake I had in my mind the conviction that God had offered me the chance to work for him in the future, and that God had told me that there was a lot to be explained and said, and that forty days and forty nights, that fraction of time was not enough, but forty days was all the time that God could afford to spend by my side. Before I left God explained, "Before you become a forty-years-old man, never take yourself too serious, because you are still a child. During that period of time in your life don't take decisions that involve the rest of your life or eternity. You know now that I am training spirits to be alive on their own, and I will do whatever it takes to give you the chance to understand what life is, and hopefully you become to understand who I am, because I am who I am, and there is nothing I can do about it. Remember that between the beginning and the end there is an eternity in between."
After I was on my way driving to Salt Lake I was feeling better. I was glad that the forty days were over, and I really liked the idea of becoming a master carpenter, and having to make my living in an honest, descent, and dignifying way. That shouldn't be a problem for me.
During that trip as I was driving north, cruising through the State of Florida, I was admiring the beauty of the land, and I was having fun thinking while I was driving. Driving really helped me to relax, but after I passed the city of Atlanta, a few hours later I run out of gas, and I had no more money left. I run out of gas just a few miles passed Chattanooga. My van was still running, but my fuel gage was below empty. Good thing that on the side of the road there was a little store that had a gas station, so I stopped right there. The little store was an old shack made entirely out of wood logs, and it looked almost like an old cabin, with the only difference that this store had a nice asphalt roof. On the garage that was open, they had an exhibition of handmade ornaments, and on the living room of this store-house they had a little mini-market. I went inside and got me a drink with some change I found in the ashtray, and while looking around the store I was thinking what I was going to do next. After awhile the only thing I could think of was to start panhandling. I went to my van and I made me a sign that said, "Going to Utah. Need money for Gas. Help please and God Bless." I stood on the side of my Van holding that sign for hours, but nobody gave me not even a penny. I was about to get inside the Van to take a break, and I was starting to think that I had no choice but to spend the night right there on the side of the road. I was about to get inside the van when I saw a Light-blue and white police car approaching me very fast. The police officer parked right behind my van, got out of the car really quick-it seemed to be already pissed-and he asked me really quick, "What are you doing here?" I told him the story, "No money, no food, going to Utah, and run out of gas." He asked me for my papers, and while checking them he asked me, "Do you belong to any religion?" "I am a Mormon" I said. The police officer said, "Jump on my car. Let's go for a ride to a Mormon Church I know." He didn't put me on the back seat like the Florida police or make me put on handcuffs, I sat in the front passenger side, and with my little English I started telling him my story. He never asked me about my Immigrant status here in the U.S., but he asked me for my passport and ID. He took me for a long ride, at least a 20 miles ride, and at a point, honestly I thought he was going to kill me, execution style on a desolated place away from all civilization, and where no matter how loud I could beg for my life, nobody was going to hear me. At a moment I almost panic, and I noticed that because I realized at a point that I was not breathing. When I realized that, I took a deep breath and I started to relax, at least I tried, but I can't deny that I was feeling very uneasy on that car, he asked me, "When it was last time you ate?" I said, "A couple days ago?" He looked at me and said you look hungry, I said, "Yes I am hungry" He said, "There is a sandwich in my lunch-box you can eat it if you want to." I opened the lunch-box and grabbed a Peanut Jelly sandwich on a zip-lock sandwich bag that was wrapped with nice white napkins. I was so hungry that I could devour that whole sandwich in one bite, but I was very polite and I ate the sandwich very slow. We didn't talk much because it was hard to understand and communicate with each other because of my English, that at the time it was terrible.
Finally we arrived on a big and long chapel made out wood, and it was a Mormon church. We went inside and I was introduced to the bishop. As we enter the bishop's office and after a very short introduction, the first thing the bishop asked me was, "Who is the actual prophet now in the Mormon Church?" Honestly I didn't know the answer, and as I looked to the side, because I heard the giggle of a child, at that very moment, I saw two little girls playing with a wedding dress that was on a human skeleton inside of a closet. It was so creepy that I got chills on my back. We kept talking and I tried my best to act as normal as possible, but I really couldn't make sense of what I just saw, and even to this day I still wonder, "A wedding dress on a skeleton inside a closet?" We talked for a bit with the bishop but we had serious problems trying to communicate due to my terrible Tarzan English, that he cut the conversation short and said to me, "In my opinion you are not a member of the Mormon Church, but I am going to give you some money for Gas. The money I'm going to give you is not from the church, is my personal help to you, and that's it. That is all I can do for you." He handed me a one hundred dollar bill and put me on my way with the Sheriff. The Sheriff dropped me off at my Van, and I had a hundred bucks on my pocket. I was so happy that I thanked the Sheriff I don't know how many times, I was so thankful of him that I couldn't help to say over and over, "Thanks. Thank you very much, appreciated. Thank you…" Before he drove away he told me as a last thing, "Stay on the road and try not to stop on small cities." I said, "I will" and I thanked him one last time. I fill up my tank with gas, and quicker than quick I was on my way again.
On my way to the chapel riding with the police officer I got so scared that I was overwhelmed with emotions, and I was extremely tired. I thought that day that I was going to get shot at or put in Jail for longer that I can stand not having my freedom, and like I said, I was exhausted, but I could not rest at that moment. It was almost night time and I had to drive at night, because it was winter time and as I kept going north the colder it got. At night it was too cold to park my Van and sleep, so I had to drive at night and rest on day time. I was tired, but I kept going. Finally after an extremely hard night of driving I made it to Nashville. The Sun was barely coming up, and I found a place where to park my van in downtown Nashville, and I fall asleep like a rock.
That evening when I woke up, I wanted to keep going but I was steel to tired, and I needed to stretch my legs, so I went for a walk and I started looking at the cowboy stores. It was so cool for me to see all that cowboy stuff. It was just like being in a big cowboy museum. I was looking around inside of one of those stores, when a girl that worked there started asking me questions about where I was from and where I was going, "she could tell I was from somewhere else" as she said to me. We started talking for a little while and as I was leaving she said, "If you are looking for work I know a person that is looking for painters." I said, "Painters? Sure I would love to work and get a little bit of money." She gave me a name and an address with a phone number. Later on I called the guy and he said to go to the address the girl game me, and meet with him. He told me that latter on that evening, after he was done with work, we could meet at that restaurant.
I went to this address and it was a Mexican restaurant right next to a tortilla factory. Like I had nothing else to do I went over there way early, and after hours of waiting, the people at the tortilla factory started getting suspicious about me. At that time I do remember looking so shaggy, and on top of all that I had a long pony tail. Like I didn't want them to get worried or call the police on me, I talked to one of the guys that worked at the factory, when he went outside to have a smoke break. I got out of my van and asked him if he could sell me a cigarette for 25 cents. He gave me a cigarette for free and we started talking for a bit. At the time it has been over a month since I have not smoked, and I was quitting smoking, but that day, I quit quiting one more time in my life. He asked me a whole bunch of question about where I was from and what I was doing in Nashville, and while we were talking the smells of the fresh tortillas was driving me crazy. I was so hungry and I don't know what kind of face I had at the time, that the guy noticed that I was hungry, and invited me inside to the factory and gave me a couple of tortillas. He introduced me to the manager and told her that I was looking for a job. This mature woman right there in front of everybody started asking me questions about religion, and we talked for a bit. She asked me if I believed in God, and I said, "Yes I do. I do believe in the living God." She asked, "What religion are you?" I said, "Like I believe in the living God, I can't have any affiliation with any established religion because that will be a sin. Those who believe in the living God have no flag, no color, and everybody is their brothers." She didn't like my answer very much, and said to me, "If you don't become part of this church here in this state, you are not going to make it." I said, "So you know I consider myself more of a Mormon, but I think that if you have to join a religion to survive, there is something wrong with that religion." She said, "Why are you going to help infidels. That is like helping the devil." I said, "This world is the house of God, and if God puts us here, must be a reason. We should not discriminate by the way a person wants to worship God. You should be free to love and worship God anyway you wanted." She said, "There is only one correct way to worship God, and that is through our religion." she put her head down and she asked me to leave because they were working. I said, "Sure. Thanks for the tortillas. They were delicious. Thanks." And I turned around and went back to my Van.
At the end I realized that if I was not somebody of her same faith or somebody that was willing to convert to her religion, she couldn't give me a job. No wonder why some religions have so many followers in some places. They are like a mafia, because if you don't joint their faith, you can't make it on that town.
I went to my van and I started making calculations about how much gas I needed to buy to make it to Salt Lake, and I didn't have enough money to get to Salt Lake. I was short on a couple of gas tank fill ups so I could not buy me any food. After that, I tried to go sleep but I was too hungry that I couldn't. I went to the back of my Van where I had my last reserves and provisions, and the only thing I had was the last bit of a loaf of bread, and some little bottle of oil that I forgot I had. I made me an oil and salt sandwich and I ate it like they were the most delicious food ever. I was lucky that day to find something to eat and it was old oil, but I didn't care, for me it tasted delicious. I wish there it was more than two pieces of bread left, but I was so thankful to have something on my stomach at that moment, like you couldn't believe it.
I was so happy to have something in my stomach that I fall asleep. After awhile a guy came over my Van, knocked on my window and he asked me if I was the one looking for a job. I said, "Yes Sir, yes, I am the one." He asked me a few questions and he spoke Spanish so it was no problem there letting him know my knowledge about painting. He offered me ten dollars an hour and I needed to be there early in the morning. "No problem." I said, and he said to me that it was okay to park my Van there where it was, and that I could take a ride with some of the people that I was going to work with if I wanted.
I was so happy that I was going to earn some money and finally I was going to be able to eat. I was so hungry. Right after I talked to the guy, I started thinking that if I was going to make some money I could buy me a plate of food. I saw at that moment the special of the day on that restaurant by the tortilla factory, and they had a very cheap especial. That five dollar especial combo was cow's stomach soup. Oh my! I went inside and I ordered the special of the day. That plate of food I had it was all I ever dreamed of it would be. It was delicious! When you are hungry, everything tastes much, much better.
Next Morning they picked me up and the same guy I talked the night before, he actually woke me up knocking on my window. He told me to go on a car with three other workers. I asked him about if I needed to take any painting tools with me and he said, "You do not need any tools Son. Don't worry we have everything." Any ways I grabbed my painting brushes, and I went with the crew to an old house in the middle of a field on the outskirts of the city. I worked hard all day and on the afternoon we were ahead of schedule with what they ask us to have done. I was exhausted and week, so when I finished what I was told to do so, I stopped painting and I sat down. I did a very good and fast job cutting the paint with my brush around the windows, and with all that practice, and being so young and athletic I was able to get done a lot in a very short period of time. I have to admit that I wasn't sure if they were going to pay me what they said they were going to pay me, and if they were going to pay me at all, I really didn't know this people. The guy I was working with, he was telling me not to stop moving, but I didn't listen, by the end of that day I was so exhausted that I went outside and took an extra brake. Seated at the edge of the front porch, I looked at the beautiful fields of gold on that nice prairie where the house was. The fresh wind that day of winter seemed to dance above those fields of gold, and it was like seeing a pair of kittens playing with each other, because the wind was blowing from one side to the other. It was nice to feel the wind caressing my face and shagging my hair, it felt like a hand full of love going through my hair. The golden tones present on the field mixed with a little bit of brown here and there where incredible. What a beautiful natural scene that was.
I went inside after feeling my soul with fresh air, I cleaned my brushes, and I was doing that when the guy that was working with me said again, "Get back to work my friend "El Patron" doesn't like when you are not working." I said back to him, "I already painted more than what he asked me. I don't want to get ahead of myself." The guy just shook his head and kept working, then, I heard a car. I thought they have come to pick us up but no, it was "El Patron" who came to inspect the job. Without saying hello or introducing himself, the first thing he asked me when he saw me was, "Do you love this country?" I said, "I do love this country." At that moment I wished I knew how to speak better English and elaborate a bit more what I meant with that but I couldn't, and he didn't speak any Spanish either. Our conversation ended pretty soon and he left short after he looked at what we had painted that day. Later on our ride showed up and we headed for the restaurant, but first, we needed to take home a couple of guys. On our way back after we dropped home the first person, we went into places that they really looked like places taken out of a Horror Movie. They were places far away from downtown and they looked so ghetto. I don't know why at a moment I almost panic and I fear for my life. I stayed calm on the outside, but on the inside I was completely fearful. I have to admit that I was scared. The feeling of not having a clue where I was, and not seeing anything familiar at all, was overwhelming. After an hour and a half of driving around, we finally arrived to the restaurant and it was just like coming home. Oh! My! What a day, I was so tired and exhausted, and on top of all that I didn't even had a bath where to take a shower. After they dropped me off and I changed my shirt to look a bit decent, I went inside the restaurant and I started looking for the guy who hired me. I found the guy and he said to me, "I talked to "El Patron" and he said that he doesn't need you tomorrow. That means the boss didn't like you." And he gave me a check for eight hours at ten dollars as he promised minus taxes. The check amount was 66 dollars and change. I was so happy to get a check that I didn't care how much they took out on taxes, because it was obvious that if they didn't ask for my personal information how they were going to pay for the taxes. Very quick I thought, "If I complain most likely they will say come back tomorrow, or something like that, and most likely I will never see them again. So I took the check saying thanks." I was so happy to have at least food for that day that I didn't care. I asked the guy where I could cash that check and the guy told me, "Here they can change the check for five dollars, and if you order some food from here they will cash that check for free." I thanked him for the work and I said good bye. I went outside and cleaned myself as much as I could with a bottle of water I had, and came back to have my first meal of the day. I needed to make it to Salt Lake and time was short because as the night came, so it did the cold weather. It wasn't that cold but coming from Miami, I could really tell the difference. I ate another cow's stomach soup with a soda, and this time I had extra tortillas on the side. I blessed my food and I enjoyed it as much as I could, because I didn't know when my next meal was going to be. I cleaned the plate with the tortillas, and I was still hungry, but I couldn't afford more food, I needed money for gas. Making the math about money and gas, I was a little bit short on gas, but nothing I could do either, so I started my Van, pushed the gas and I continued my trip to Salt Lake City.
I drove the whole night and it was a very long night. I was happy that I could see well at night and I was able to drive on that very dark highway, because if I had to stop and keep the van running to warm me up, I would've spend at least double the gas, and I could not afford to do that. Next morning around seven in the morning, I was just waiting to find the right spot to finally go to sleep when I passed a police officer that was on the side of the road giving somebody a ticket. I slowed down and passed him normally, I even gave him some extra space. I got a bad feeling right after I saw the officer's face after he saw mine. Suddenly he got in a hurry, but I kept going normally. In less than a minute he was right behind me with his lights and siren on. He gave me a ticket for not slowing down while he had the blue lights on, whatever that meant. After I heard the officer saying, "You didn't slow down," and knowing that I did, it was clear to me that he was that kind of cop, then I remembered what the officer in Chattanooga told me about staying on the road, and staying away from small towns, and then, I clearly understood what the Chattanooga cop meant.
By the time I left Miami I still haven't got the answer back from my family, about if I could stay with them for a bit, while I found my own place. I didn't want to call my Mom and ask her as well, I didn't want to tell her that I was already on my way. On one of those occasions before I started my trip and I talked to my mom, and I mentioned to her that I was thinking to show up over there, around my birthday on February, and now under my calculations I was going to be in Salt Lake City around January Six. In all honesty there it was nothing I could do to change that, and whatever it was going to happen, if they help me or not it was not up to me. That little detail really added up to the stress already build up in my mind, and up to that moment my Mom Mercedes has not yet giving me any answer if they could have me over or not. She told me to give her time to talk to my brother in law Eduardo, and at the same time she was worried about me coming in the middle of winter. She said to me, "You don't know how cold is here in winter time son of mine."
I knew they were going to have a lot of trouble understanding why I needed some help at that moment, but I had no other alternative. I wish I didn't have to bother them, but I was desperate for some help at the time. I was going through very hard times, and they were the only people in the world I had. I was just putting all my eggs in one basket, just like once before in my life, that day when I left my home town Arica and I went to La Serena without saying a word to anybody. That is how I felt at that moment.
The trip continued, and as I was praying for the Van not to break down, I was noticing the engine was not working very smooth, and I could tell something was wrong, but the van was still moving forward. As I was getting closer to Salt Lake, about ten hours away, the night before I got to Salt Lake City, it was a very cold night. I was already in the Rocky Mountains and it caught my attention that the hot air was blowing warm instead of really hot air, so I did stop on the side of the road to check the engine and everything was just fine, but right there when I got out of the van I realized that there it was no problem with the van, everything was just fine, but the cold temperature outside, it was freezing cold! A cold like I had never experienced before. I got inside my van quicker than quick and I kept going.
While driving that night I had to stop again at the side of the road because at the top of a big hill my van started overheating a bit, and I got really worried so I stopped for a bit and I check the engine again. Everything was fine and as soon as I checked the oil and the levels, I kept going. I thought being in the top of the hill the rest of the way should be easy, and I that way I could keep an eye on the engine on my way down. I started going downhill and good thing the temperature came back to normal. I continued driving with no problem for a while, but around four am in the morning, only about ten hours away from Salt Lake, almost at the top of another big hill, my Van stop working. The van stopped moving, and the transmission was not engaging on any of the gears. There was not even a car in sight, and I started thinking how long can I survive here in the cold? I check the levels again and my transmission fluid didn't even show up on the stick. I was stuck in the middle of nowhere with freezing cold temperatures and I thought, "I am going to die. I'm going to freeze to death." I got so scared, I was right completely alone, and not even a soul in sight. More than an hour went by, and not even one car passed me by, I was literally freezing to death when finally I saw a car, and I moved my finger hitch-hiking, but the car barely slow down and kept going. I thought, "Nobody is going to stop." After a good half an hour, after that incident, I saw in the distance a pair of bright lights and I said, "I need to make this car stop. I need help." So I pushed my Van into the middle of the road, completely blocking the whole road, and I got in front of my Van. As the lights got closer, I realized that the incoming lights were not a car they were a big truck and coming fast. I signaled the driver to stop, as he was approaching me very fast and showing no signs of slowing down. I could tell he didn't want to stop, but my van was with the emergency lights on, and right on the middle of the road. The driver of that big rig finally pushed on the brakes and he pushed them hard at the last second.
I yelled, "Stop. Mofo!" and he stopped just a few feet away from me. He was talking on the CB radio, and he rolled down the window. Holding his hand gun over his lap, he asked me, "What's going on?" I told him what was going on with my best English at the time, "Me car broken. Me Cold, I need help. I need to get to a phone, to call my Sister, and repair my car. My car broke down." He continued to talk on the CB radio, and after going back and forth for a few, the driver said to me, "Relax son. Ain't no problem. I'll take you to the nearest gas station. They already authorized your transport. You can't be here with me, we are not allowed to take hitchhikers you know. By law I can't transport any stranger on my cab without authorization first. Get in. Park your Van on the side of the road and come on in." I said, "Thanks I really appreciate your help. I'll be right back." I parked my Van and a good thing of being in an uphill is that you can't go forward, but you can go backwards really easy, so I put my Van in neutral and backed up to the side of the road, grabbed my little bag with all my essentials, like a good trooper, and I got in the truck. I was prepared for an emergency. When I got inside the cab, I was shivering. I was so cold, I was really freezing to death. Good thing that the truck driver gave me a ride to the nearest gas station, otherwise I could've freeze to death. I was coming from a tropical weather and only in six days, I was in the top of the Rocky Mountains in the middle of winter. Weather wise was such a big change for me, and on top of that all my clothes were summer clothes. I didn't even have one winter jacket. I remember that date very well it was 01/04/1994.
From the gas station I called my Sister and she was surprised to hear from me. I told her the short version of the story and added, "Sister for the first time in my life I do need help, please help me to get there I have no money, no food, no gas and on top of all that my Van broke down." She said to me, "Brother of mine I would've loved to help you, but at this moment in my life, as you know, I have a family now, and for us hasn't been a bed of roses here in the U.S., do you understand? I would've loved to help you, but I can't." After I heard that, I was in shock and we both hold silence for a moment. She added, "Maybe I could ask my Bishop from the Church, and maybe they can help you. My bishop can call a bishop from that city where you are, and maybe they can help you. Maybe." I said, "Sister of mine. I don't even know where I am at this moment, and you are the only person that could do something for me right now." She said, "You need to give me the location and the city where you are." I asked the cashier the address, and I had a hard time making myself understand, but finally she showed me the address from a phone book, and I call back my Sister Belinda that morning with the address.
Around lunch time a guy showed up and he asked the cashier for someone that was stranded. I overheard his voice asking the cashier if he has seen a Spanish guy that his car broke down the night before. He was not even finished when I stand up from my seat and he saw me almost at the same time. We introduced each other, shuck hands, and we started talking for a bit. He said to me not to worry that a tow truck was going to pick up my van, take it to a repair shop, and as soon as he knew what was going on he will let me know. Anyways he asked me to be patient because he will have to take care of that after work. He took the van keys and on his way he went. I sat back exactly where I was seated before, and I kept trying to read the newspaper to keep myself entertained-the newspaper that was spread all around on top of the old sticky tables of that old gas station.
I waited and waited from early in the morning till late on the afternoon that day. At the time I had so much anxiety, and I was so exhausted, without mention how hungry I was. I was so worried that I couldn't rest even if I wanted to. That evening around five pm I called my Sister again, and asked her if she had any news for me but she didn't, and she kind of got upset at me for having to deal with this inconvenience just because I was her brother. She didn't sound very happy with me, and that was not new for me. We had grown further and further apart since I stopped being a good Mormon long time ago, and now all of the sudden, I was at her door begging for help. I felt so pathetic at that moment on my life, so humiliated, but it wasn't my fault, it was God's fault or I was just completely out of my mind, either or anyhow, there I waited for another couple of hrs, had no choice. I was so hungry and the smell of food was everywhere. To be honest with you I was about to start crying out of desperation and frustration when the Bishop finally got there. We started talking and he gave me nothing but good news, he said, "The Van just needed more transmission fluid, and because you stopped right away when this happened, the transmission was not damaged." He told me as well, "We put some gas on your tank too, God Bless, and have a good trip!" He gave me my van keys, and he left as quickly as he came. I was in disbelieved of my good luck. I went outside and there it was my Van. I started it and fire up right away. The fuel gage was way passed full and oh man, I was in heaven. After all I was glad to have a Sister, and I was thanking God thinking, "Maybe I should have a little more faith, and not to worry so much."
I felt so happy at that moment that I forgot that I was hungry and that I haven't ate in awhile. I looked on the back of my van to see if everything was there, and in fact it was, everything was there just how I left it. None of my belongings was missing, and I was glad to be here in the U.S. Looking around I found a can of tuna that got under a rug, and for a minute it looked so delicious and I was about to eat it, but a cat appeared out of nowhere, and started rubbing himself against my leg. It really felt like a hug at that moment, and it was so nice to feel some love at that moment that I grabbed him pet him for a little bit, and gave him the whole tuna can. The cat reminded me of my cat Monochito, my favorite pet ever. That cat by the way it was the skinniest cat I have seen here in the U.S. so far, actually he was just lean, but compared with how fat other cats are here in the U.S., he looked very skinny to me. I was hungry, but at that moment I had crossed the threshold were you can handle your hunger, and have food in your stomach it seemed at that time like an inconvenience. The cat licked it a few times, took a couple bites and could you believe that the cat just barely eat a bit and left. Unbelievable! The cat didn't finish his food, and that is such an insult for Spanish people, but then I thought, "This cat is definitely an American cat." I grabbed the can of tuna and I ate the rest, it couldn't go to waste. I took a zip of blessed water and on I went back to the highway. By the way everybody in Miami and before I got to this gas station called the road a Freeway, and now this people was calling it the Highway. I was really confused and they looked funny at me when I didn't understood the word "Highway" but oh well, same thing happened to me when I heard the words, "You betcha!" I really had a hard time trying to figure out what they meant with that, and for me it was a mind bender trying to make sense of it.
I drove all that night straight without not even one stop that night. I was so sick of driving that I couldn't wait to get to a place where I could take a shower and rest. All I wanted at that moment was to rest and have a moment of peace in a place I could call mine. I was experiencing a lot of anxiety because of that.
Next day around ten in the morning I finally got to Salt Lake City. The date was 01/05/1994 and the first thing that caught my eyes when I got here, was the capital building, and then the glorious Mormon Temple. It looked so beautiful, just like in the pictures, actually even better.
My Sister was so surprised to see me once again. She couldn't believe that I had grown a pony tell, and one of the first things she said to me was, "If you want to find a job here in this state you better cut that ponytail immediately." She let me take a shower on her apartment, but she was quick to let me know that her husband Eduardo didn't know anything about me coming over. She said, "Because we thought you were going to be here around your birthday on February we have not talked to Eduardo yet." So she asked me to leave right after I took the shower, and she told me that I could come back after they talk to Eduardo. She told me to come back at seven for dinner time.
My Mom and my Sister had to tell Eduardo-my brother in law-for the first time that I was coming over to stay for a few. It was so disappointed to know that they had waited so long to tell him about me coming over, but nothing I could do about it. They had to explain him that because of a mayor slowdown in the construction, and because I spent Christmas and New Years all by myself and such, I wanted to be around some Family, not super close, but close enough that I could grab my car and come and visit.
I came back around seven pm, and we sat down for dinner. I noticed that my mom and my Sister were acting nerves, and on top of all that my brother in law was complaining because he was not notified about me coming over for dinner. My sister again had to explain to him that they were expecting me at the end of February, and that's why they had not told him yet. Anyhow I did understand his concerns because I have always been the black sheep of the family, and I remember not looking the best either. I have been pretty much a week on the road, I was starving, I had very poor sleep, and I still haven't been able to rest adequately. As we sat at the table my dear brother in law found nothing better than grab a big kitchen knife, go around the table, passing through behind my back, and sat right by my side with it. I guess he wanted to know if I was crazy or something of that sort, because I could not find any logic on grabbing a big kitchen knife and go behind me to have a seat on the table, but oh well. I stud still and calmed, but I can't deny that I was experiencing some paranoia because I felt for a second that he was going to slice my throat. I am not going to deny that I might've been not acting totally normal and probably I was talking a bit of none sense, but I couldn't help it at that time. However when I saw him grab that knife and walk towards me, I really saw a Chilean Soldier with a knife on his hands getting ready to kill me. After a nice dinner after all, I ended up crashing on the sofa that night, and I fall asleep in an instant.
Good thing my brother in law even if he didn't like the idea of me staying in his house, he agree to let me stay, and four days after that dinner, the tenth of January, I found a job as a carpenter helper and the weird thing was, that my first day at the job God spoke to me for the last time.
Let me tell you about that first day of work. This is how it went down, and just by mare coincidence.
I found through the Sunday's newspaper a company looking for finish carpenters, and carpenter helpers in The Salt Lake Tribune-the local newspaper in Salt Lake-and I had an interview with the "Boss" that very next Monday. I went over there and once on the office he asked me questions about my experience. I told him that I had not much experience as a carpenter helper here in the U.S., but I had experience working in carpentry back in my country as well. I said to him very clearly that I didn't have a social security, and that because of my beliefs I was not going to lie about it, "I don't lie" I said to him and, "I would understand if you refuse to give me a job because of that." "I do understand" he said and added, "I don't mind about that. What I care about is you being a good hard working individual, and I do like your honesty. Be at this address tomorrow. There will be waiting for you a carpenter, and he is going to take you to the job site. He is the carpenter you need to help. You need to help him on anything he might need your help with. Listen to him, he is a good guy. Let's see if we can use your help. I have plenty of work, and I need good workers. I need responsible and hard working people that stay working even if I am not around. Let's see tomorrow how it goes and then we will talk about your papers and such. Good look and welcome to our company." I shook his hand and thank him very much for the opportunity.
Next day early in the morning I found the address, and I followed the lead carpenter to the job site. When we got to the job site, it was a house in the city of Bountiful, and it was in a circle right in front of a Mormon Temple.
We were working outside, it was very cold, and the first thing the lead carpenter told me was, "You need some winter clothes." I was helping him to screw down a beautiful red oak deck, and like always he had very nice tools, just like every good carpenter here in the U.S. I really liked that. With pro tools is easy to do a good job, and there is nothing like working with pro-tools. That day I got along well with the guy, and he asked me to cut some pieces of wood to certain lengths with his skill-saw, and I did. It was early in the morning and I was still kind of sleepy, at the same time I was still not fully recovered from the trip, and on top of all that, I have been sleeping in an old stinky couch. Anyhow it was not an excuse to have a little accident, especially on my first day. For some reason it was so cold for me, that I didn't realize that mi finger holding the wood down it was all the way extended. I thought I had all the fingers of my hand closed, and all my fingers away from danger, but as I was cutting I felt something worm on the tip of my finger, and it was the blade of the skill-saw cutting my index left finger, ouch! Not a good way to start the day, and not a good way to start your job either. When I felt the blade on my finger I pull the finger back and I didn't want to look at it. I was starting to feel the warm blood running down of the tip of my fingers, when after a few seconds I looked at, and I had a small cut, barely under the skin, and a little corner of the tip of my nail was missing, but that was it, nothing that a band aid couldn't fix. I thank God for being that lucky, good thing I had proceeded slowly, and very carefully as safety dictates with this power tools, but I guess the cold weather numbed my fingers and I didn't realized that my finger was in the way of the blade. Anyhow the carpenter lead asked me if I was okay or had any drugs on me, but I told him the truth, "No I am not in drugs, and is just the fact that I am not used to this much cold. Like you said, "I do need some better winter clothes, at least better than the ones I'm using right now." He asked me if I wanted to continue to work and I said, "Of course I do want to continue working. I need this job badly. Don't worry it won't happen again, and I am okay to work." Indeed I kept working and he said, "Remember not to put blood over the brand new Red Oak Deck." I said, "Sure, I am sorry about that. I will clean the blood out of the wood floor. Sorry." He complained about four drops of blood that somehow got over the wood deck, and I don't know how they got there, because I thought all the blood that was not much anyways, fell over the dirt, but there they were. I even looked carefully if there were more of them, but no, just four drops of blood on the red oak deck, and right in front of a Mormon Temple. I thought, "Maybe God is mad at me for not blessing the place where I was, but the forty days were already over." It was hard for me to explain what happened, but what really got me going was why four drops of blood, and not two or three. Even if my forty days were over, in a moment when I was all alone, I prayed to God, and I blessed the place.
Around four pm that day, we had almost the whole thing done, and the deck was coming along pretty well. All the doubts about if I was a good worker have been completely erased, and now the lead carpenter was laughing with me. We had a good day of hard work together, just like a pair of good carpenters.
After we were done with work that day, while the lead carpenter was talking on the phone with the boss, I went outside by the place I cut my finger, and sat down on the edge of the deck, looking and admiring the temple. As I looked to the horizon, I heard the voice once again, "You see that Island? Do you see that hill that from here looks like a Pyramid right in the center?" I said, "Yes my Lord I see it." God said, "I'll see you there five years after you are born in Spirit, and as a man, I wish you come before me to answer me one question if, you have walked the path, and you have become a Master Carpenter, and that question it will be: Are you ready to take my name? Are you ready to work for me? Are you ready to die for me? Are you willing to risk, if not give your life for me? Remember the message it will be Four. Follow my numbers as I taught you, and we will keep in touch through the random numbers, music and math. I wish you well, but there is the chance of that moment never happening, but if it does, it could be the beginning of the promised Thousand Years of Peace for human kind. For that to happen Judgment Day will have to be upon Earth by then. Good luck son. Don't kill, don't still, don't lie, and if you want to serve me, became a Master Carpenter. You are in the right path to solve the Energy riddle, let me tell you that the only reason why they have not done it yet is because you are the one who made it first, and I do remember that. Be kind with your son. Remember that your son was born here in this land under the American Flag, and that flag is the only flag that at a moment had it all to become a true democracy. Find out on your own how much of a Democracy America is, and don't forget that everything changes, even me. I am not the same one I was two thousand years ago, not even the same one I was a hundred years ago, because we all evolve. Bye Son of mine, know now how much I do love you, and how and why I do care so much about all of you. Bye Son, see you soon. Remember Four."
Right after that I felt part of me dying, and I was with my eyes fixed pointing at the middle of Antelope Island, they were pointing at a hill that looks just like an Egyptian pyramid, at list from the point of view that I was looking at. That day I was twenty-eight-years old, and I knew exactly where I was going to be in the day of my forty-fifth birthday. Regardless of what it was, it was, and now I was supposed to be normal, and keep my mouth shut until the year 2012. That was the minimum age that a man could be call to served in God's Name, and if it was a woman, it has to be thirty-five-years of age at least to be allowed to take God's Name.
Like I said, any man should consider lucky to exist and be alive, and if you are a male reading this words know that all women in spirit do belong to God. We men, we are suppose to be here to give God a hand taking care of women, and above all Children. Learn that children are God on Earth. God always take the last place, "The last ones will be the first ones."
It was time for me to prove to God that my love for God was real. The only thing I had to do was to be on God's waiting list for employment, and I had to be a good citizen, not a perfect one, but by numbers, I knew I had to be 99.99, not 666, it had to be 99.99. You might wonder what it means 99.99 and is very simple: If you make a mistake you are hundred percent wrong, but the next time that you have the chance to make the same mistake, and you say "NO" on your own, you say, "I learned my lesson, and this time I say No!" Then math gives you an answer. Once you were a hundred percent wrong, but now after you said no, and didn't make the same mistake, it makes you a 50% wrong only. Then it comes the third time, and now you can divide one hundred by three, and that makes you only 33.33% wrong, then the fourth time and so on and so forth until you get to 99.99 free of sin. You will never be 100% free of sin ever again, but trust me only 10 percent wrong makes you 90% right, and that is good enough to take God's Name. That is one of the rules, and the other rule is: "One is no one." It means that if you only committed a sin once, you can say you never committed that sin ever before. Spiritual mathematics is very simple. Unbelievable!
Those were the things I knew then, when I was twenty eight years old, and I had to wait at least seventeen years before I could even mention what God has told me. I could only talk about it, if God said so, when God say so. It has to be at the right time, for the right reason, and then I could deliver the right message to the right people. God suppose to be the one who will decide if I get to speak in his name or not. The only thing I knew at the time was that if I spoke on God's Name or not, it was out of my hands.
So the last thing he instructed me to do, was to write a book with his will and words, because God's will for me it was the same for everyone, and his first command or will is that at least every human die old, or sick, but never by the hand of another man. No man should take the life of another man, because you are against the will of the living God. God is not a God of the Dead, in that case no one would've ever existed. Don't forget that he is the Alfa, and is known that those who go against the Alfa's will, they are really in Alfa troubles.
Remember this last thing "You enter the Kingdom of Heavens by Faith, and no man will ever find God, unless God wants it. Let me tell you something, when you look at the sky you are looking at God, and when you are looking in the eyes of another living thing, especially animals, know that you are looking at God's eyes, you are looking at God in Spirit, you are seeing a little bit of God. God and the Universe are one and the same. They are two different things, but one and the same none the less. Do not ever forget that it is illogic to think that Humans are the biggest, the smartest, and the only thing alive in this place we call Universe."
Talking about forgetting a name or two that you shouldn't, one of those names I should remember is the name of that Mormon Bishop that took care of my van, and another is the name of the Bishop of my Sister's Neighborhood, that helped me to get an apartment, a one bedroom apartment with my own bathroom. Everything looked very old, but everything was working, and it had all the appliances, and a big nice fridge. That apartment had a living room, and it had a heater for the winter. In that apartment I had everything I needed and more, and all thanks to the Mormon Church.
Thanks to that bishop after more than four months I was finally able to sleep in a place I could call home. I blessed that place and I started a new chapter in my life. In a way the man I once was, it was definitely dead. I wish I could change my name at that time in my life, because certainly something died inside of me at that time in my life or it was God leaving me, I don't really know, at that moment in my life I was certainly perplexed of my own experiences in that period of time, and in all science, I went completely crazy in my mind, and now after all that I was starting a new life, in a new City, and for my surprise, I was still alive. At that moment in my life I didn't know what to make out of all these thoughts, and that voice in my head, that for me it sound just like somebody talking to me. The only thing I was glad and okay with was the way I acted during that period of complete madness, because at the end, nobody was hurt, including me, and like I said before, "Mental and sad but Social." A very polite and social crazy person that believed in a living God that lives here on Earth and that in spirit God certainly is here on Earth. In my beliefs that was freedom of Religion. After all in a way I was glad that those forty days were over, and that at the end I was the master of my will again, and if I lost my will was because I handed it voluntarily to God. I voluntarily give my will to a voice in my mind, and I was not totally sure if that voice was God or I was just experiencing madness. Was that madness or it was true? I still don't know, anyhow I believed in that voice because I thought I was communicating with another living thing, and I was in awe with all the things that this living being was explaining to me. Things like the origins of life, time, evolution, Democracy, Justice, and where all this things came from. This voice told me that all this things come from one source, one same accident, and that there is not much we can do about the present, but as long you have the present, from there you can take any direction you choose. I gave myself to madness voluntarily, I did surrender peacefully, and I did it with all the faith and love I had in my heart.
At a point I was about to commit suicide again, but one more time God was there for me, and God asked me to stay for a little longer, and God said to me, "Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. I'm working on it." Nothing is that easy, and like you know now, to communicate with God, as far as I learned, is not that easy either. A big thing like God obeys different time laws and you make it double difficult to communicate with when you lie, when you still, and even more difficult when you kill, and even more difficult when the horrors of war are experienced by Children, and that war was nothing but a move to promote higher profits.
That's how I started a new chapter of my life in this brand new city for me. Thanks to my family and a bishop from a church that I was not really part of it-because I have not been active in the Mormon Church since I was sixteen-years old-but anyways they helped me. I guess regardless of religion we had something in common, and that was love for God.
I got to Salt Lake not because I chose to be here, I got here because part of my family was already here. I never planned to be in this city, but I am not going to deny that at the beginning when I got to Salt Lake I fall in love with the people, and I thought for sure I was in Zion, and I mean Zion as in "The City of God."
What made me believed that I was in Zion was the welcoming actions of a Mormon Bishop that helped me to find a place where to live, and helped me with money to pay my rent for the first few months. Nobody ever before had helped me that much, and one of the things I remember the most about that bishop are the words he said after I gave thanks to him for his help. He replied, "You have nothing to thank me. Is the Lord himself through me who is helping you." How could I ever forget those words? How could I?